Collateral Repair Project

2011-11-04T23:22:00.000-07:00

When Um M and two of her children arrived in Jordan a year ago, they rented a tiny flat in extremely bad condition. But when her husband and 3 other sons fled to Jordan two months ago, the landlord told them to move as the flat was too small for so many people. Um M had only been receiving a small UNHCR monthly assistance for her and the two children but this was barely enough for just the three of them to scrape by and would not be enough to buy food for her family now that there were four more mouths to feed. It certainly would not be enough to pay rent on a larger flat.

She went with her husband and the other children to UNHCR right away to request that they be added to the family file so that the monthly grant could be increased. A problem at UNHCR resulted in the family not receiving the increase for this month -- and in fact, causing them to not receive even the smaller amount. They were informed that things will be taken care of and that they can expect to receive the grant at end of November -- but not for the lost month. How were they to survive for an entire month without any income?

They had moved into a larger flat (pictured) and had promised the new landlord that he would receive the rent money. When they were unable to pay the rent, he was threatening to throw them out -- this, in the days just before Eid - a Muslim holiday as significant as Christmas is to many westerners.

Um M did not approach CRP for help -- even though the family was in such dire straits. Because she and her children attend CRP classes and activities, she knew that CRP is struggling to keep our doors open and we are very concerned that we may have to close at the end of the month. Instead, we found out when we called Um M to ask why she did not come to an activity she was enrolled in. Only then did she tell us that she could not come because she was dealing with this crisis. Her family had no food; they had sold anything they had of value just to raise what ever they could toward trying to pay the rent. She had even sold a 3 kilo bag of sugar from their pantry.

Not only this, but because of their financial problems, her two eldest sons had dropped out of school a month ago, taking a job cleaning toilets, trying to make money to pay the rent and put food on the table. At the end of the month of grueling work, they went to the boss to be paid and he told them that there was no pay, that they are Iraqis and could go ahead and go to the police if they wanted but they would be the ones in trouble, not him. Iraqi refugees are not allowed to work in Jordan and this type of exploitation is horrifically too common.

The entire family felt beaten down and hopeless at this point, terrified they were going to be put out on the street.

A friend of CRP visited our center the next day, delivering a carload of gently used, donated clothes and household items she had collected from friends and family. We told her about this family's dire situation and our deep concern for them -- and our frustration that we could not help. After we took the donated items from her car and put them in the distribution room, we decided to take her to visit Um M and her family as they live just a few doors down from our building.

She met with the family, asked questions about their situation and listened to Um M tell of their hardships. Typical of Iraqis, Um M would end each telling of a sad or terrifying event in the family's saga as refugees with "al-Hamdolelah" (Thanks to God), always remembering to be grateful, even when life presents seemingly insurmountable challenges.

We all wanted to make sure this family was not evicted and that they had food on the table. Our friend said she would talk to her friends and family to see if anyone could help. CRP contacted several other NGOs to find out if they had any way of helping. One of the NGOs said they might be able to help and made an appointment for the following morning. We were all hopeful that a solution had been found.

Um M called us after this appointment. The NGO said that they might be able to help -- but that it would take a few days for a decision to be made and then, only after Eid (a four day holiday). The landord was not willing to wait and we were back where we started.

Thankfully, our friend was able to rally her friends to come to the rescue. Together, through their generosity and caring, enough funds were gathered to pay the rent and for the family to eat until the end of the month -- overnight! She delivered the aid directly to the family this morning. I stopped by to visit them a little while later and found the atmosphere in the house was entirely different than it had been just two days ago. The children were smiling and Um M's eyes were filled with tears of gratitude and relief. Not only did these kind people rescue this family from homelessness, they had ensured that the family would not have an empty table for Eid.

CRP wants to express our deepest and sincerest gratitude to our caring friend who took it on herself to raise the funds and to everyone who,, with her,, came together to help this family. Without your kindness, what would they have done? Our words can never be enought o tell you how much we appreciated your saving this family from the deep crisis. We share with we know is only a small percent of the relief and thankfulness that this family feels, we know - but it is one less family of the so many who are in as desperate need right now, and who we cannot help because donations have plummeted in the past two months.

We are at great risk of having to close our doors and end our vital support of Iraqis here soon if we don not get enough support. This terrifies us for families like this one, who have relied on us to rescure them when there were no other resources. We are witnessing the closure of other small organziations that have been a resource for Iraqis here, or larger, international NGOs going through severe cutbacks in their aid programs. What will happen if we all leave? Their situation is so dire now, it's impossible to imagine.

Please consider helping CRP remain a life-line for destitute Iraqi refugees in Jordan. Any amount, small or large, will make a difference. We especially ask you to consider becoming a monthly donor. If enough of you pledge to give even a small amount monthly, we can be assured of keeping our doors open and aid available for the most needy. You can sign up to be a monthly donor or make a single contribution today here: www.collateralrepairproject.org/donate

Thank you and Eid Mubarak to all of our Muslim friends.

www.collateralrepairproject.org/donate

SCHOOL DAYS - UPDATED

2011-08-27T12:26:00.000-07:00

September approaches and, like everywhere else, the store shelves here in Medford, Oregon, are stocked with back-to-school supplies. As I watch the moms go through the aisles with kids in tow, checking off items from their shopping lists, I remember how September was always a season faced with mixed emotions – regret that summer vacation was over, blending with the excitement of a fresh start, of seeing old friends and making new ones, curiosity about the new teacher, new class room. But it was something else too, something more subtle -- it was verification that you’d accomplished something important and achieved a new status in the hierarchy of childhood. You were, well, more educated than you were last year.

It’s almost inconceivable that education could be put at risk by the price of a school uniform or a few note books and pencils. I can’t imagine telling a child of mine that she can’t go to school because you have no money to buy the required school supplies. But that’s what Iraqi refugees too often face. And, it’s a hard fact that when a child misses one or two years of school, the likelihood that they’ll ever return to school is low.

That's why we're raising money to purchase required school uniforms and supplies for 20 Iraqi refugee children. You can help give these kids a fresh start and bring them hope for their future by donating at www.collateralrepairproject.org/donate

We'll be updating our graph below on a daily basis, so check back here to see our progress, or go to our Collateral Repair Project Face Book Page.

www.collateralrepairproject.org/donate

2011-08-12T11:37:00.000-07:00

Illiteracy Rate in Iraq Climbs among Highest in the Region

"One in five Iraqis between the ages of 10 and 49 cannot read or write a simple statement related to daily life[1]. While Iraq boasted a record low illiteracy rate for the Middle East in the 1980s, illiteracy jumped to at least 20% in 2010[2]. Moreover, illiteracy among women in Iraq, at 24%, is more than double that of men (11%)" Full article at:
http://www.ncciraq.org/index.php?option=com_content&view=article&id=111&lang=en

World Refugee Day

2011-06-20T13:25:00.000-07:00

Helping You Help Iraqi Refugees.

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Today is World Refugee Day. Like most issue days, this one will come and go with the usual level of dutiful, if somewhat mechanical, attention. UNHCR will comment, an automated email from the State Department will appear in my inbox containing an official statement, and concerned organizations will host fundraisers, hoping to capture a moment of the world's short attention span.

Last year on this date, the Iraqi refugees that I met in Jordan adopted a grim sense of humor surrounding June 20th, accompanied at times by anger. "Do we say 'Happy Refugee Day,' or 'Sorry you're a refugee?'" one asked, followed by, "We know we're refugees. We don't need a day for it." For the world's 10.4 million refugees, every day is refugee day. Every hour is more time spent in an impossible situation, worrying about the future and waiting on a resolution.

In volunteering with Collateral Repair Project, a small NGO that provides assistance to Iraqis in Jordan, I've heard many variations of the refugee narrative. Individually, the stories are piercing and demand all of a room's emotional energy. During home visits, the director and I breathe in and glance at each other nervously when the household head tears up and the family story begins to spill into the room. Lumped together in the mass of the Iraq war's debris, they meld into one blurry, tortured backdrop of war. They become part of our matter-of-fact conversation as we file family profiles. The son whose eye was gouged out as a warning to his father; the severly disabled child affected prenatally by U.S. use of uranium; the widow who searched through a room of body bags to find the chopped up body of her husband; the man who saw dogs eat the body of a dead countryman in Baghdad. You get the picture (and possibly wish that you didn't).

Each of these stories (and so many others) is attached to a person who currently lives in Amman, powerless over their own situation, waiting for the policies and procedures to work in their favor. Barred from employment in Jordan, many live in desperate poverty, and U.N. aid isn't anywhere close to meeting the need of the estimated 500,000 Iraqis here, and 1.8 million in the region. (Whether the U.N. can not or will not meet the need is another matter). Meanwhile, a smattering of NGOs is scrambling to fill the gaps and still falls pitifully short.

The young adults are especially affected, having no money for higher education and seeing their lives indefinitely placed on hold. Resettlement creeps along and is not an attainable resolution for many families. For the few that are accepted into the program, the process can take years and is not guaranteed. When I was here last summer, I knew at least two families who were said to be "in line" for resettlement. One had already been assigned a country - a positive step. When I returned to Jordan ten months later, I found those families still here and still "in line."

Iraqis are often subjected to discrimination in Jordan, regularly experiencing petty incidents like taxi fare rip-offs, and are vulnerable to false accusations; Iraqis are often presumed guilty until proven otherwise. Their situation is not helped by the world's waning interest as donors tire of Iraq's never-ending saga. Many of the families with which we work lived solidly middle class lives in Iraq as professionals, business owners, or trade workers. They are eager to find employment, to resume a stable life for their children, and to contribute to society, if given the opportunity.

If we cannot yet make Iraq safe enough for them to return, then we must create a safe home for them elsewhere. The U.S., being the precipitator of this crisis, has to take the lead in its resolution, either by significantly increasing its acceptance of families for resettlement, or by creating dramatic improvements in conditions for Iraqis in Jordan and Syria. They need substantial and sustained funding for basic emergency food and rent assistance, trauma counseling, legal protection, and education scholarships. None of these offers of support can replace a home lost or a relative dead, but can provide these war weary families with a hopeful, if altered, future.

Lucy Perkins is a 2011 graduate of Tufts University and a volunteer with Collateral Repair Project in Amman, Jordan.

www.collateralrepairproject.org/donate

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ZAINAB REVISITED

2011-06-01T18:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was one of the kinds of days that I live for. It was warm, sunny, just gorgeous. A perfect day, in fact, to visit Zainab and her children, a new family CRP is helping.

Previously we wrote about how we met Zainab and her 4 children – 13 year old Fadi, 10 year old Aisha, and the 4 year old twin girls, Abeer and Fadwa. They’d come to our door asking for help a couple of weeks ago. The family had been in Jordan for a little over a month, having fled sectarian violence and threats due to Zainab and her husband Jamal’s intermarriage.

The family came to Amman totally unprepared, having no idea of the trials and hardships awaiting them. It certainly didn’t help when a rental agent swindled them by renting them an overpriced apartment. Since then, they had found a lower priced flat, but they exhausted the meager amount of money they brought with them from Iraq.

Their new apartment, considering its very low price, is surprisingly spacious, clean and comfortable. They greeted us with smiles and invited us to come in. This was when we discovered that although this family had managed to find a better living arrangement, they had absolutely no furniture or household items. Their only possessions were their suitcases sitting against a wall, and the only other thing in the flat was a naked bed frame left there by the landlord.

The situation was dire, indeed. This family’s needs were so extensive that we called another NGO, and because of our excellent relationship with them, they immediately responded to our request to help this family. They agreed to provide them with sleeping mats, a countertop gas cooker and some cleaning supplies, and we took Jamal with us on a shopping trip to pick up some other needed items, including a cooking gas cylinder, pillows and blankets, pots and pans and other things.

The family positively glowed when we returned with a van loaded with things for their new flat. The atmosphere was like a party as each new addition to their new home was unpacked. Zainab, Jamal and the kids were beaming. A step back from the darkness into the light of hope never looked brighter or more promising.

The other NGO gave them a small gift certificate to use at a modestly-priced local department store for the children’s clothing, and we arranged for 2 large bottles of drinking water to be delivered – the tap water in Amman is not safe to drink. We also provided the family an adequate amount of cash to buy enough food to last for a month.

The family’s relief radiated from their smiling faces and seemed to fill the room. It was like sunshine breaking through clouds, to see parents no longer worried about how they would care for their children’s basic needs. The whole family no longer had to worry about how they would eat or how they could possibly sleep on a stone floor. For most of us, it’s hard to imagine ever being in such a predicament, being totally destitute and with no possessions other than a suitcase full of clothes - wondering what will happen next and how we’ll survive…wondering how our kids will survive.

We talked with the family about their lives both before and after the 2003 US invasion. They spoke of the chaos the war brought to Iraq – the gangs, the rampant violence, the lawlessness. Zainab told us about one incident in particular that traumatized young Fadi when he was only six years old – the little boy was outside playing when he saw one man kill another with a knife right in front of him. Since then, Fadi has suffered from nightmares every night.

Zainab’s dark eyes once again shone with tears as she spoke about the family’s life in Iraq. Zainab was a teacher and school administrator; her husband Jamal told us about his job as an engineer. They had lived in comfort, their children were doing well in school, and their careers were satisfying and brought them a good income.

Zainab mentioned her extensive experience in teaching Arabic, and as fate would have it, we’d been looking for someone who would be able to teach an Arabic literacy course. We asked her if she would be interested, and she happily agreed, saying she would do it for free.

We suggested something a little different – that her teaching would be in exchange for our continuing help until the family receives its cash assistance from UNHCR. This restores Zainab’s dignity and identity, and we’re so glad to have found the teacher we needed!

We will also pay for a critically-needed medical exam for Zainab (very inexpensive by western standards) and for medications needed by her and Fadi for chronic medical conditions. And of course, we have invited the family to join us for CRP programs and activities at our center. This will help them to make friends that are a crucial source of emotional support within the Iraqi refugee community. We’re looking forward to having them join us!

This is what can be accomplished with contributions from compassionate and caring people. A family was given back hope for their future. A good outcome for a day’s work on our part, and what a beautiful result for the donors who care about Iraqi refugee families. Thank you from all of us, to all of you.

Exploitation to Desperation

2011-05-23T11:15:00.000-07:00

Recently, while having an informal planning meeting at our main center, a woman and her four young children came to CRP’s door.

Zainab’s face showed her weariness as she began telling us her family’s story. They arrived in Amman about 6 weeks ago, having been forced to flee because she and her husband belong to different religious sects. They’d received death threats from local militia and decided to leave, taking with them only their clothes and around $1,000. When they arrived in Amman, they visited a real estate broker who charged them a large fee and found them an apartment which cost $500, half the money they’d brought with them. After staying there for a month, they moved to a less expensive apartment but are now down to their last $200.

It is common for Iraqis new to Amman to be exploited by persons looking to profit from their predicament. Unless a refugee family has friends or relatives to help them, they usually have no idea of what to expect when they come here; they don’t know how much or little to pay for an apartment, and they don’t know how to go about finding one, so they go to brokers, who often cheat them.

I watched Zainab’s face as she spoke in Arabic to Ghazwan about what she and her family have endured. Her dark eyes became glasslike with unshed tears, and her weariness and anxiety mapped her features with shadows.

She told how, on their way out of Iraq, she and the children saw bodies lying by the roadside, attesting to the continued atmosphere of violence and horror in Iraq. The kids, so traumatized by the sound of gunfire and explosions, are fearful and upset whenever they hear the sound of fireworks. Her husband assumed he would be able to find a job quickly in Amman; they weren’t aware that Iraqi refugees cannot work here legally. They also believed that UNHCR cash assistance would be available immediately. Sasha informed her that the process can take many months and that there is no guarantee that their application will be approved. Zainab’s face was a portrait of shock and disappointment when hearing this news. She left a 19-year career as a school administrator, a job that paid well. Now, she and her family have almost no money left, no way to pay next month’s rent and utilities, and no way to buy food.

This is a common scenario here; a family flees with nothing more than their clothes, a few personal belongings and whatever cash they have on hand, and they have no idea of what awaits them or how they will cope. The application for refugee status is tortuously slow, its outcome uncertain. This family could wait months, or a year or longer, for an outcome on their applications, and in the meantime there is very little help for them. We will be visiting this family soon to assess their situation more fully and to see what help we can provide. Ghazwan had the difficult task of explaining to Zainab that due to the reduced number of donations we’ve received, we are not sure of how much assistance we can give her family. We have many families here whose circumstances are as severe as Zainab’s, and some whose situations are even worse. We are hoping that we will be able to give this family the assistance they so desperately need.

A Small Amount Can Make a Big Difference

Donations are tax deductible

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or by check to:

Collateral Repair Project

PO Box 8160

Medford, OR 97501

Couch Surfing in Amman - A Mother's Tale

2011-05-14T12:49:00.000-07:00

When Sahar was granted resettlement to the US from Iraq, she fully anticipated that her 14 yr old daughter would soon follow. But one year later, her daughter was still in Iraq, where her life was in increasing jeopardy. Her best friend had been kidnapped for ransom and her uncle had been had been viciously assaulted.

Fearing for her daughter’s safety, Sahar did what any mother would do to protect a child. At great risk to herself, she returned to Iraq and brought her daughter to Amman, Jordan in hopes of returning to the US from there. Sahar cried as she described how much she missed her child in Iraq, was frightened and concerned about her welfare, and had taken it upon herself to return to Iraq to get her daughter to a safe place.

But now, they find themselves entangled in the web that is the immigration and refugee system. This system can be infuriatingly slow and disempowering for the people who are depending upon it, and while they wait for their cases to travel through its labyrinth, their lives are literally on hold.

They came to Amman with about $400 and a little money that her sister in Sweden had sent her. When these funds were exhausted, she appealed to CRP for help. She didn’t know what to do and told us how she and her daughter had been staying in the homes of various friends but that they couldn’t continue to do this indefinitely. She described to us their current living arrangements, which were potentially dangerous, and a decision was quickly reached to have Sahar and her daughter stay temporarily at the CRP center.

Meanwhile, CRP is looking for a small, inexpensive flat for Sahar and her daughter and will pay the rent and utilities until the immigration matter is resolved. We will also help with food expenses. Because she has been resettled in the US, Sahar is no longer eligible for assistance from UNHCR. Sahar also has some health issues that require medical attention and medication.

So many Iraqi refugees live just as Sahar and her daughter have been forced to live – like vagabonds, moving from one friend’s home to another, sleeping on floors and sofas with no place to call their own, carrying their few belongings with them.

When there's no one else, there's You

www.collateralrepairproject.org/donate

America's Big Day?

2011-05-03T20:55:00.000-07:00

The big news, as we all know, was President Obama’s announcement that Osama Bin Laden had been killed in an “operation” by the CIA conducted in Abbotabad, Pakistan. Following this news, we took note of the celebratory tone of many of the media stories and op eds that spoke of the “relief” that this boogeyman has been eliminated at long last; the “big fish” in the “war on terror” has finally been reeled in, duly dispatched, and his corpse tossed into the sea.

We watched a video of Obama’s announcement and was struck by the dramatic language he used to recount the drama of 9/11 and the loss of 3,000 American lives that day. But what struck even more strongly was that not a word was uttered about the many lives lost as a consequence of that day’s events, and of the displacement of millions of innocent people, all because of a false assertion that somehow Saddam Hussein had had something to do with the attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon on September 11, 2001.

I wanted to ask, “What, Mr. President, nothing to say to the Iraqi people, not a word to acknowledge this cause-and-effect resulting in the shattering of their society, the deaths of their loved ones?” I would also wonder whether Mr. Obama would have any words to say to the Iraqis I have met here in Amman since I arrived here in March: the man whose fingers were eaten off by acid in an episode of unspeakable torture; the woman whose husband was kidnapped by a militia, murdered, and his remains returned to her in pieces stuffed into a garbage bag; the young woman whose beauty was stolen forever by a car bomb; the mother whose twins’ lives were erased in an explosion; the family who left Baghdad under threats of their children’s “annihilation,” living in one cold room and sharing two small blankets…and there are so many more.

At this particular time, when it appears that the world’s collective attention may be focusing now on pursuing yet more boogeymen in the name of America’s “freedom,” we feel it is a good time to look more seriously than ever at the “collateral damage” that is a consequence of 9/11, and work even harder to repair it. We would love to see as many of you as possible granting my wish, and giving us the support we need to continue helping the refugees here in Amman to rebuild their lives.

Here's How You Can Help

www.collateralrepairproject.org/donate

Easter Delivery

2011-04-28T10:58:00.000-07:00

On Easter Sunday we revisited the young family we told you about a few weeks ago, whose children were so hungry at the time of our first visit that they ate the crayons and paints we brought them as gifts.

They still live in the dismal, damp one-room flat, which held an overwhelming odor of urine from the defective plumbing.

We had heard that the young mother had visited a doctor and had learned the new baby will be a girl, so Sasha and went shopping for some nice pink baby gifts and had come to deliver them. We also brought a supply of staple foods (oil, flour, sugar, rice, pasta and other items) for the family, and a box of snack cakes for the children. As she opened the gifts, the contrast between the new and clean clothes and blankets, and the shabby surroundings, was so sharp that I felt my heart sink. We could not imagine bringing a tiny child into such a place. We thought of newborn babies and how they always lift our spirits and bring a glow to our hearts, but standing inside that dismal room I felt a pang of despair, not only for the family having another member to care for, but for the child whose life may very well be one of hopelessness and poverty.

We asked that they please contact us when the baby is born so that we can make a return visit and see the new arrival. Until then, they will be in my prayers and my thoughts. They are one of many Iraqi refugee families here who live in poor conditions and need help urgently. Fortunately, the cost of the birth of this child will be paid by CARE, but the family still does not receive any financial assistance. We will continue to worry about this family and hope their conditions will improve soon. Many thanks to our donors who contributed to help us bring this small amount of help to them! ~ Mary Shephard

Many more families await your help

www.collateralrepairproject.org/donate

Easter 2011

2011-04-23T09:22:00.000-07:00

It’s a beautiful day here in Amman. The birds are singing outside the window as I write, the sun is streaming in, and cars are quietly passing in the street. Tranquil, peaceful, so hard to imagine that the world around me is enmeshed in violence and strife.

No wonder, then, that it’s so hard for people to remember the ongoing tragedy that is Iraq. Not only are most of us soothed by our peaceful surroundings, but we’re also continually being bombarded with new stories of horror and tragedy from all over the world. We can feel overwhelmed by this, and our natural reaction is to shut it all out and tell ourselves that there is nothing we can do.

It is Easter weekend. Although I am not a Christian, I do know the meaning of Easter; through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ, all of mankind is saved from darkness. This is a beautiful story, one of hope and renewal, and as we watch our kids tear into their Easter baskets, attend religious services to celebrate this joyful day, and join our families in a traditional Easter dinner, we may not stop for a moment and remember those who are the “collateral damage” resulting from the 2003 US invasion of Iraq.

Iraqis are still fleeing for their lives, and many times they find themselves in harsh circumstances once they arrive in Amman. The waiting period for cash assistance from the UN can be many months, and not all Iraqis receive it. Returning to Iraq is out of the question for them – they either have no homes to return to, or to go back can mean death. So they languish in Amman, relying on neighbors and relatives to help support them, but their lives are harsh. For many Iraqis, they find themselves in grinding poverty and uncertainty, forced to buy a little food on credit, living in hovels with no heat, and many families live in single rooms where they sleep on a cold floor. Unable to work legally in Jordan, some risk jail and deportation by taking menial jobs, but many more sit in hopelessness and impoverishment. Domestic violence can rear its ugly head, a manifestation of despair and a loss of self amid the continuing turmoil of life as a refugee. Some Iraqis have, or develop, medical conditions for which they cannot obtain necessary medications. The list of challenges they face as refugees goes on and on.

We at CRP are working every day to make the situation better for Iraqi families in Amman. We help in many ways, including cash assistance to those need emergency help. Unfortunately, our donations have slowed to a trickle, and we have not been able to provide this vital help. Because of this, some Iraqi families are at risk of homelessness. Another risk is imprisonment of Iraqi husbands because of nonpayment of debt.

On this Easter Sunday, while we are enjoying the day with family and friends, please take a moment to remember the ongoing tragedy of Iraq and its refugees. A donation of even a small amount goes a long way in helping us to help Iraqi refugees. The story of hope and renewal that is Easter can be lived every day through caring and giving. Happy Easter! ~ Mary Shephard

When There's No Other Way, There's You

www.collateralrepairproject.org/donate

TRANSFORMATION

2011-04-19T12:04:00.000-07:00

Today we went to visit a family who has been in Amman since January, 2010 and has not received any financial assistance from UNHCR. They have had no money to pay their rent or to feed their kids. Bilal, age 28, and his wife Amira, age 21, have two little boys, ages 18 months and 3 years. When they had to flee Iraq and come to Jordan, the younger child was a newborn. We visited for a happy reason – one of our very generous donors has pledged to send $250 a month to support this young family, and we were happy to deliver the first month’s donation.

The family lives in a tiny, run-down and shabby flat which is nothing more than a small room with a bathroom lacking a tub or shower, and a tiny kitchen, but now they can pay their rent, get good food for themselves and their two little boys, and insulin for Bilal’s diabetes. My heart almost burst inside my chest when I saw their faces as Ghazwan presented them with the donation that is literally a lifesaver. We sat on the floor during our visit because they have no furniture. Both Bilal and Amira had new hope in their eyes. They can now see a good future for themselves and their boys because someone cares.

Most families who have arrived in Amman since 2010 usually have had to endure a long waiting process while they’re assessed for refugee status. This is a new development; they won’t receive cash assistance unless they are classified as refugees. This family has been waiting for almost a year and a half. How were the supposed to survive during this wait? We’ve helped these families in the past by giving them emergency cash, but because our donations have slowed to a trickle, we’ve been unable to help any families for the past two months.. When we couldn’t help they were forced to rely on their equally poor neighbors for food, and there were days when the family literally had nothing to eat at all. Bilal and his family are very, very fortunate to have a generous donor take an interest in them and offer to give them the help they need so desperately.

When you know someone cares about you, your whole life looks different. You have the strength to go on, the ability to feel hope again. One minute it can feel as if there is no reason to get up in the morning, and the next, it can feel as if life is full of miracles. I saw this transformation today. When I first met Bilal a few weeks ago, his whole being conveyed his worry and fear. Today, he was a new man – smiling, laughing, and he said, “now I can relax.” He asked us about a million times to thank the person who has pledged to help his family.

It’s a lesson for all of us, really – to put ourselves in our brother’s shoes and feel his pain, then reach out and help – and then watch the transformation. It’s beautiful. You can transform a family’s life, too.

It's Safe, It's Secure, It's Tax Deductible

www.collateralrepairproject.org/donate

Playing It Forward

2011-04-13T20:46:00.000-07:00

In this blog, CRP friend and supporter Carol Malik, shares memories of her dad, his love of dominoes and his acts of generosity. Carol carries on his tradition by donating funds in his memory for supplies for CRP's Men's Dominoes Night. Thank you Carol!

Mary Madsen

Honestly, if my Dad were alive and he knew about these men needing a place to play dominoes, he would have made that happen. No doubt about it! He was a bulldozer operator and worked seasonally. During the winter months, the men would gather at, of all places, a furniture store to play dominoes near the cash register! Nothing like rural Arkansas growing up!

Yes, the Iraqi value their elders so much. And my Dad would have loved to play dominoes with them for sure! I think the way he put it was "there is no such thing as a stranger, just people you haven't got acquainted with yet". I wish I had a photo of my Dad playing dominoes, but I think we were too busy playing to even think about that!

I know dominoes for my family was a time of fun, laughter and talking over some important ways to handle situations of life while we were playing a game. What could be better than taking a serious issue, mulling it over and finding a way to deal with the serious enjoying something to help relax and solve those issues? Who would believe you could solve problems over a game of dominoes.

My Dad had compassion for people and was always willing to help when he learned about the difficulties of a neighbor or family in need. It didn't matter to him what the cause of a problem for the people was, if he had the means to help, that was all that was necessary. And to this day I remember going with him and my Mom to homes out in rural Arkansas and taking groceries and cooked food to people in need or helping somebody with a way to get the electricity back on or the water running or somebody in need of clothes.

And he never wanted a single thing in return. If somebody got back up on their feet and wanted to pay Dad back, all he asked was for them to just help the next person they found who needed the same sort of help, long before I ever heart the phrase "pay it forward". Such a great thing.

For me, my Dad was so special, but I didn't understand the full scope of who he was until long after he died and I use to go and visit my great Uncle Earnest who was raised with my Dad (my Dad's parents were both deceased by the time my Dad was 7 years old and was raised by his aunts and Grandfather).

My Dad had to stop attending school by the 6th grade since he was the eldest of my Great Grandpa's grandchildren and he worked plowing fields all over eastern Oklahoma with a horse and plow! Can you imagine?

My Dad and Uncle Earnest use to go around visiting family up until my Dad passed away in 1991 and then, once my Uncle could no longer drive himself, I started taking him to visit family much as he and my Dad use to do. It was such a great thing learning more about my Dad and family from my Uncle Earnest! They were raised in the time after the depression and it was tough going. But the situations my Dad was in as a child gave him so much compassion for others. I was so amazed by what my Uncle told me.

My life because of the compassion of my Dad and the patience of my Mom was blessed and I can only hope that what I do from day to day. And I hope I have learned a bit more since last July to appreciate every day as the gift that it truly is.

It is my honor to share him with whoever may have an interest and I hope my Dad's story may touch some of the other donors of the past who might be willing to share in the lightening of the hearts of these Iraqi people in some way. They are so very precious!

My kids and I haven't played lately, but because of my Dad, there were 3 generations of domino players to date! Not so bad!

Carol Malik

WHEN YOU HEAR THE WORD...

2011-04-11T15:56:00.000-07:00

"Refugee,” what comes to mind? I’m sure many people try not to even think about it, but refugees are innocent people who are caught up in the violence and horror of war and occupation and find they must flee in order to survive. Many Iraqi refugees are people who made up the middle and upper classes of Iraqi society. In our English classes we have civil engineers, economists, police officers and other professionals who are now languishing in Amman without being able to work. One man in the advanced English class has been approved for resettlement and will be emigrating to Massachusetts, where his sponsors are waiting to help him to start a new life. A goldsmith, he hopes to work as a jeweler once he is in the US.

But the rest wait in agonizing limbo for word on resettlement -- unemployed and with little to fill their days that stretch into months or even years -- while knowing that very few are accepted for resettlement and that the long wait may well end in shattering their hopes.

For the refugees remaining in Amman, we need to continue to assist them. Because many are still waiting for a determination from UNHCR on their status, they do not yet receive cash assistance and are forced to rely on friends and relatives to survive. Some run up large credit accounts in their neighborhood food markets in order to be able to eat. We normally help these families with food, rent and utility payments, but we’re not able to do anything for them now because we have no cash for this purpose. It is crucial to help these families because unless their bills are paid, the head of the family can be put in jail for nonpayment. Children will see their fathers arrested and taken away, and wives will be left alone to struggle to keep the rest of the family together.

We need to remember these are our fellow human beings – they’re people just like us, except that their society has been destroyed and they have literally fled for their lives, in hopes that they might be able to make a new life. The limbo of waiting for refugee status is incredibly stressful – imagine yourself in such a situation. You’re in another country, you have no money, you are waiting for months to find out what is going to happen with your application for resettlement, you have a family to take care of….imagine it. And you can’t go back where you lived before, because either your home is gone or you will be killed if you return. Try to imagine the stress, the fear of the unknown, compounded by the traumatic experience of living through a war. Imagine your life falling apart, only to be replaced by uncertainty, poverty and isolation.

CRP is trying to help our fellow human beings, but in order to do it effectively, we need your participation and help. Can you please take a moment to put yourself in the shoes of an Iraqi refugee and imagine the hardship so many of them endure every day? And then please think of what CRP does – we provide emergency assistance for living expenses, food, medication and other necessities. We provide heaters and fans, winter coats for kids, but we also provide something else equally important. We provide support for the Iraqi refugee community by giving them a place where they can come for the non-tangibles they also need. The men’s Dominoes Night, the Hope Workshop (a co-op where Iraqi refugee women create beautiful items to sell), the English and art classes, are only some of the things we offer to the community, again, with your help. It is crucial that we be able to again provide cash assistance to needy families, and to continue to offer programs to strengthen the community in Amman.

No donation is too small. Imagine yourself, one more time….imagine giving a donation to help us help Iraqi refugees, and imagine how good it feels knowing you have made a difference in someone’s life.

www.collateralrepairproject.org/donate

2011-04-09T23:54:00.000-07:00

When There’s No Other Hope, There’s You

www.collateralrepairproject.org/donate

Crayons Are For Making Pretty Pictures, Not For Human Consumption

2011-04-02T17:18:00.000-07:00

EATING CRAYONS

On March 22 we received a desperate call from a new family pleading “Please rescue us!” They told us they were 4 months behind in rent and had their utilities shut off 2 months ago (no water, no electric). 3 young children. No income. Desperate. Although our coffers for emergency assistance were depleted, their story and desperation were so compelling we scheduled a home visit.

They came to Amman a year ago and UNHCR decided that they are not eligible for resettlement so, not only do they not get the UNHCR financial assistance but UNHCR took away their asylum seeker registration certificate. This means that they are vulnerable to forced repatriation to Iraq. As a result, they cannot get assistance from any of the major NGOs as they require that registration before they will give aid or assistance.

We learned that the dad had been kidnapped by a militia in Iraq and held for 22 days in 2010 and tortured the entire time. They wanted him to join their militia and after a while, the torture was so great that he agreed - just to be released. But they fled the same day he was released. They cannot return to Iraq because of terror they will kidnap or kill him. He cannot try to get any work - even hauling things on the streets of the busy downtown area where they live because, without that protection paper, he will be arrested and sent out of Jordan. The Asylum-Seeker protection paper also is the document required to get assistance of any kind that is available for Iraqi refugees here.

The family includes a husband, wife and three children, a boy age 7, and two girls aged 4 and 3. They live in a miserable 2 room hovel, cold and bleak, with no furniture other than a single mattress leaning against a wall. The bathroom is nothing more than a floor toilet in a space no larger than a closet, and it is blackened and encrusted with mold. There are no facilities for bathing. A quick glance into the kitchen area revealed cockroaches and a meager two-burner hotplate. There was no food in the home.

The wife is 24 years old and is nine months’ pregnant with a history of complicated births. She is expected to give birth anytime during the first two weeks of April. She does not have a doctor and has not been receiving any prenatal care. She said when she visited a local clinic two weeks ago, she was turned away. There is no money to pay for the hospital when she is ready to give birth – and if she does give birth there, both she and her baby will not be allowed, under Jordanian law, to leave the hospital until her bill is paid. How will they ever afford the $600 (barring complications) bill when they can't afford to feed their children they have?

They have not been able to make any preparations for the new baby, and are in need of clothing, blankets, diapers and something for the baby to sleep in.

It was clear that the family was not eating well at all; we had brought small gifts of toys and candy for the children, and all three of them immediately consumed the candy. After that, they also ate the crayons and paints. Their mother gave the children some bread, which also was devoured ravenously. We learned that the youngest child suffers from anemia and is not receiving the iron supplement she needs. There were times during this visit that I had to cast my eyes either downward or out the door in order not to cry. I just couldn’t believe how this family was being forced to live - no food other than the small amount given to them by their neighbors, no electricity, no furniture and no heat. My bones ached from sitting on the cold, damp concrete floor, and I imagined what it would be like to be in this squalid, hopeless place and in this miserable life.

Usually, both Hajjia (see previous post) and this family would be relieved by our visit and our assurances that we will help. We would buy food for them and make sure that they had heating (it is still very cold here at night) and adequate blankets. We would help Hajiia find and move into an inexpensive flat that at least had basic facilities for bathing and toileting. This month however, we have no funds at all in our Emergency Assistance budget because donations have dropped to a trickle this year. But one just cannot witness these things and walk away without any response. We bought enough food for a few meals for the family with the hungry children and gave the elderly woman some money that will last her a couple of weeks so she can eat. We took her one of our spare blankets and paid for second-hand kerosene heater for her that she can also cook on. We are paying for these things from our own very minimal salaries although our salaries barely last us the month and we cannot afford to help others from it. What are we to do? --Sasha Crow

NOTES FROM A VOLUNTEER

Sasha and Ghazwan are CRP in Amman. Sasha is an American woman, and Ghazwan an Iraqi man. The two of them are the living heart of CRP. They are both deeply compassionate people who have become an integral part of the Iraqi refugee community in Amman and have dedicated themselves to helping the families within this community. I saw the two of them give money from their own pockets to a destitute woman whose only income was from selling shoe polish in the street, so that she could have something to eat other than the spoiled food that had brought ants into her one-room hovel. As she cried, they hugged her and dried her tears. There wasn’t a desk jockey bureaucrat anywhere to be found – but there, in that dingy room, were two people, one of whom was himself a refugee and the other an American with a desire to bring healing to these devastated people, and both were a single human presence embodying peace and reconciliation.

UPDATE -- WITH A PARABLE -- by Sasha Crow

We dropped in to visit Um M and her lovely two children last night to see how she was doing and to introduce Mary, our new resident volunteer, to the family. You may have read about this family on our CRP Face Book page - they arrived last fall with only $7 to their name. CRP supported them for a couple of months - providing rent, food and their other basic necessities. Um M's gratitude is as strong now as it was when we rescued them then. She told us a story - about a poor man that was given alms by a wealthy man. When the poor man was given the coin, he told the wealthy man to say "Ya'allah"(help me Allaha). The wealthy man was incensed - saying "I gave you money and you have the nerve to dictate to me that I must then say "Ya'allah?"!!! The poor man explained that the wealthy one had his riches by Allah's grace so that he was able to then help the impoverished one.

I am not Muslim - or even Christian - but I fervently plead "Ya'allah!" and share the message of the poor man for each of you to make this plea and then share what you have because it was given to you so that you can help others.

-- Sasha

We are being overwhelmed with people who have no means of support and who cannot return to Iraq. Your tax deductible donation will help provide the vital assistance that these families and individuals desperately need.

www.collateralrepairproject.org/donate

2011-03-30T19:49:00.000-07:00

Hajjia

(Hajjia is a term of respect to refer to an elderly woman who has either made the Haj or is old enough to have made it.)

Hajjia is a widow and she is old and alone. She ekes out a living by selling shoe polish on the streets of downtown Amman. But this barely pays her rent, so her diet consists of mostly just bread.

Hajjia is from a small village near Mosul. Her husband died in his twenties but until then they were both shepherds and she describes their life as “beautiful”. After that, her son was able to support his family and his mother well. He owned a GMC and transported people for hire between Iraq, Syria and Jordan. Since 2003 all of that changed. Her son and only child, has been imprisoned in Syria for three years and his wife and 8 children remain in the village where the situation is very bad for them and their relatives.

Hajjia now lives Amman, in a room meant for washing the bodies of the dead which has no running water and a hole in the floor for a toilet that overflows with sewage. She has not been able to bathe or wash her hair for several months. She has no heat source or way to cook. She sleeps with one thin blanket on a lumpy mat that she has pulled out of the garbage.

And she sobs constantly for her son who languishes in prison. She cannot afford to go to see him. He cries during the infrequent calls he is able to make to her because of the treatment he receives and begs her to help. She cannot bear to tell him how bad her own situation is, not wanting to upset him further, not wanting to increase his frustration that he cannot be there to care for her.

We were able to deliver a 2nd-hand kerosene heater she can also cook on, some pots, a bowl, spoon and mug, tea, one of our spare warm blankets, pillow, towel & dishdasha (long dress) from CRP distribution. She wept, she sang and she kissed us many times. We gave her warm socks, and a donated single crutch to make climbing the steep hill and many stairs home easier for her, and told her to come to CRP to get a hot shower and wash her laundry. She was thrilled with the offer and kissed us even more. She tells us that the crutch we gave to her will be useful for not only traversing the steep road to home but that she can use it as a weapon if she has to, to beat off the drunks and drug addicts that inhabit the streets in the evening. She has been mugged before. She makes less than $3 per day selling Kiwi Shoe polish on the streets and must pay her rent & utilities of approx $100 per month. She lives on bread and the charity of others - but she refuses to beg. She said that Allah (God) will provide for her.

She should be sitting in a place of honor in the family home now, being taken care of in her old age and surrounded by her grandbabies.
Instead, she sleeps in a bug-infested hovel on one of the steep hillsides of downtown Amman and lives in abject poverty.

She is so very alone and in such miserable conditions, rarely touched by human kindness. – Sasha Crow

You've Made All of This Possible!

2010-12-27T13:02:00.000-08:00

Dear Friends of Collateral Repair Project

One of the blessings of being such a small organization is that we become intimately involved with those we assist, becoming “extended family”. We want each and every one of you to feel included in this far-away family, too, because without you, we could not be here.

One of the drawbacks of our size is that we operate with a bare-bones staff. The time we spend in our work on the ground prevents us from making regular updates to inform you about our projects and how your support is reaching Iraqi refugees in need. We’d like to take the opportunity now to let you know more about what you have accomplished this year.

2010 and our 4th year of our work with Iraqi refugees in Jordan is winding to an end. This has been a challenging year for us as donations have decreased while the situation for Iraqi refugees here is worsening. There were times we were uncertain if we would be operating from one month to the next, but, through your continued generosity, even in these rough times, we’ve endured. We, on behalf of those you have helped, thank you warmly for your continued support. Truly, we cannot do it without you!

With love and best wishes for a more peaceful new year..... from Sasha, Mary, Ghazwan, Marilyn & Karen

We shall find peace. We shall hear angels, we shall see the sky sparkling with diamonds

~Chekov~

This year, Iraqi refugees in Jordan will need your support more than ever. Please help.

DONATE

This has been a tumultuous year in Iraq with increasing violence and insecurity. Iraqis are still fleeing for their lives but a major difference we are seeing this year is that, unlike years previous, most of the new arrivals come with little or no savings. Another difference is that it is no longer as relatively easy for new arrivals to get the vital UNHCR monthly financial assistance that Iraqis (barred from employment as non-residents) must rely on to pay for their most basic needs. Now, after registering as Asylum Seekers, they must wait many months to find out if they will be accepted as “refugees” and, until they get this determination, they are not eligible to receive this critically necessary financial assistance.

Imagine fleeing your country for your lives, bringing nothing but suitcases of your clothes and then, finally reaching safety, having no way to pay rent or even buy food. This is what happened to Um Mohammed, who arrived 2 months ago with her two children and only $7!

Because of this change in UNHCR policy, we are now constantly getting pleas to help pay rent, buy food, and basic necessities such as blankets and heaters. Due to this devastating situation and our budget limitations, we are now providing our Emergency Assistance almost solely to help these families. We have great concern as their numbers are increasing as our and other organizations’ resources are dwindling. The need is far beyond our capacity to help but we must do what we can.

WE CAN DO IT WITH YOUR HELP

has paid back-rent and utilities for many families this year as well as providing food, blankets, sleeping mats, fans and second-hand refrigerators (in summer) and heaters with fuel now that it’s winter. We have helped with hospital bills and purchasing medication. We have also purchased school supplies, books and shoes for children whose parents had no money to purchase them - and much, much more.

In only the past few days....

We visited 36 year old Hussein. He and his elderly mother arrived in Jordan in mid-October. Hussein was working in Baghdad city maintenance when a car pulled up and three masked men with Kalashnikovs and rifles jumped out and opened fire on him, presumably because he was of a minority sect in his neighborhood. They left him for dead with 9 bullets riddling his body - one exiting through and destroying his left eye. He survived but is now paraplegic. When we asked what resources they brought with them to Jordan, he told us that he sold the only thing he had left of any value -his electric wheelchair - for $400. They used this money to travel and to pay two months’ rent in advance on their tiny, substandard apartment and to buy food. Hussein was given a dilapidated manual wheelchair that is missing one arm-rest, putting him at risk of falling out. There is no room in the apartment to maneuver the chair anyway, nor can he use it to go outside in the narrow access that has many steps. He must spend his entire time in bed, never leaving home, and rely on his frail mother for his personal care. He has a regular twin bed and his mother has piled blankets and a small end table behind his shoulders to allow him to sit upright. Now their rent is coming due again and they still do not receive financial assistance.

Hussein and his mother need to move into another apartment that will allow Hussein to escape the confines he endures now. He needs a functional, safe wheelchair and hospital bed. They need money for rent and food.

Abu Haider called us for help. He and his wife have three children - two have Thalasseemia Major - a blood disorder that requires several thousand dollars in medications each month to keep the children alive. This family must survive on approximately $300 a month UNHCR financial assistance. UNHCR, because of their budget cutbacks, ended paying for Thalasseemia treatment this year. With so little income, the parents literally beg to pay for medication for their children - and they never get enough money to pay for the full regime of drugs their children need.

When Abu Haider called, it was to ask if we could help pay rent for them to move into a different apartment. The recent rains had cause the entire ceiling in their flat to cave in, barely missing the mother. They had to move but had no money. We were able to pay for the half month’s rent they needed until they receive their financial assistance. Although it seems like an impossibility, we are trying to find a donor or institution that will provide the two children with bone marrow transplants ($200.000 per child) as this would be the only cure for this disease and assure that they will survive. We must try.

Semira is an elderly woman living alone. Militia entered her home in Iraq, setting her and her father on fire after beating them severely. Her father did not survive the attack. Semira, as a single person, receives only approximately $100 per month financial assistance. Her rent is $70. The remainder must pay for utilities, food, medications and transportation to her doctor appointments. She lives in a tiny very substandard apartment that had huge areas of wall missing. Rain poured in, flooding her home. The missing wall areas made it impossible to heat - but she had no heater. She also had no stove to cook on and would have to go to a neighbor’s home, just to heat water for tea. CRP provided her with a kerosene heater that she could also cook on - as well as 20 liters of kerosene. We also hired our Iraqi handy-man to enclose the open wall areas and reinforce the roof as water was beginning to leak in the deteriorating ceiling, risking it falling in on her.

With your support, we can help more people in crisis who truly have no one else they can turn to

PLEASE HELP NOW

Last winter, you purchased over 500 coats for children - from toddlers to teens. We hope that you will help us to meet our goal to keep 1000 kids warm this winter. For only $10, you can give a child a coat!

Warshat al-Amal (HOPE WORKSHOP) creates beautiful, functional and GREEN products entirely from recycling throw-way plastic bags! Their products include purses, tote bags and bath/kitchen mats. Lucy, a US volunteer who worked with the women here last summer to begin the co-op, is working on a web site for their products (still under construction)

Our 2010 party was a huge success. The children made Valentines, played games, had their faces painted, and even broke open pinatas to scramble for toys and candies. Every child received a gift bag. We also had a raffle for their parents and every family won a prize!

Iraqi refugees do not have funds to purchase cameras or pay for studio portraits. Some have now spent years in exile, their children growing quickly, with no visual record of them during these years. We scheduled “studio days” and had families sit for portraits that we printed to 8x10 size for them to take home.

Cloth Diapers for Babies:
Cloth diapers are impossible to find in Jordan. Everyone uses disposables - devastating to the environment and too costly for refugee parents to purchase. Parents end up cutting back on food or other family needs in order to diaper their babies. We are developing a project to hire Iraqi women to sew cloth diaper sets for newborns and older babies from patterns. We have a small amount of “seed money” to purchase initial materials with but still need to buy a couple of sewing machines, more fabric as we need it, and funds to pay the women who will sew them.

Co-operative Play Group
A new project that is just getting off the ground that was initiated by an Iraqi mother to bring mothers and their young children together to share fun and learning activities at CRP Center. Mothers will take turns creating and leading activities and, at the same time, building new friendships that will hopefully flourish outside of the center. CRP will provide the space, snacks, toys, books and craft supplies.

Milk for Kids:
We were providing infant formula for mothers who could not nurse and to vulnerable babies with compromised health - as well as powdered milk for young children. Although this was a worthwhile project, we made the hard choice to discontinue it because of its high cost and our budget constraints. We were only able to enroll a small percentage of the many families who applied

Parents who are struggling to feed their children cannot afford to provide them with toys. When we visit families, we take small gifts to every child age 12 and under. Favorites are crayons, paints and coloring books, light-up magic wands, harmonicas, riding balls, fairy wings, and hand-held video games. We bring the crayons and watercolor sets that have been donated to us in the US. The other toys are purchased wholesale here, at less than $1 each. A small amount to pay for a lot of joy.

Not all assistance we provide costs money. We often contact UNHCR to inform them of extremely dire situations and are often successful in accelerating getting help for their cases. We have built relationships with many of the large, international NGOs and we coordinate with them, working together to provide more holistic assistance to families in need. We refer individuals who need counseling to mental health and torture survival counseling centers. We sometimes also mediate with landlords, convincing them to be patient while our clients wait to be eligible for financial assistance if we are unable to pay the full amount of past-due rent. We also work with families to create budgets to help them learn to get by as best they can on their small financial assistance grants. We brainstorm with families to create solutions for other problems they encounter and check in with them periodically to check the status of their situations and provide more support if needed. We build intimate, enduring relationships with Iraqi refugees; they know they can count on us to care and help them the best we are able. We cannot do it without you.

PLEASE GIVE NOW

We are pleased to announce that, in April, we opened the doors of our humble community center and it has become a “second home” (as described by many Iraqis who participate in its activities and classes). Opening this center gives us the opportunity to expand our services beyond only assistance and to benefit a large number of Iraqis at relatively small cost.

Throughout the summer, every Saturday, two groups of children (ages 3-7 and 8-14) attended these activities - creating art projects and learning simple rhythms while playing drums, harmonicas, and rattles. We held a big party at the local community hall for the children and their parents at the end of summer with an exhibit of their artwork along with games and face-painting. Every child received a certificate of participation and a gift package of art supplies to take home.

We are grateful to our volunteer English teachers for allowing us to offer classes in several levels of competency for adults and even a preschool English course!

Many Iraqi young people are sitting at home, unable to attend school or work, without opportunities to socialize with peers or learn new skills. We’ve recently begun art classes for young people, ages 13 to 24. Our first course is in the technique of collage. We’ll be holding more classes in other mediums throughout the year.

Before war destroyed the tranquility of their lives and having to flee from their home communities into exile, Iraqi men would socialize with other men by meeting in coffee shops to drink coffee and play dominoes - somewhat like Poker night in the US. Iraqi men in Jordan are often isolated from other men and have no escape from the pressures of trying to care for their families on next to nothing. Domestic violence and depression have become epidemic. CRP has recreated this social outlet on Sunday nights with Men’s Dominoes Night. Men of all sects and religions come together in camaraderie to play Dominoes, drink coffee, smoke nargila, and to relax, sharing laughter and conversation. Many deep friendships have developed between the men and they now socialize with one another outside of Dominoes Night.

One room of our center is dedicated for donations of gently used clothing and household items. Those in need can take what they need for their families at no cost.

Without enough money to pay for their families’ needs, purchasing books is a luxury no one can afford. We’ve opened a small lending library with books in all genres for adults and children. Books are expensive here and our library is very limited at this time. Please consider contributing to help us purchase more books.

We have held socials where English language learners and those with some proficiency can come together for fun evenings of food and practice in conversational English with native speaker volunteers.

Computer Learning Center:
Our big dream for 2011 is to open a computer learning center with a minimum of ten computers. Most Iraqis have had no experience at all with computers. With families separated from one another, often by continents, inexpensive communication by e-mail or chat can keep loved ones in touch. For those who will be resettled to a third country and who will be seeking employment, learning basic computer skills is a must as most jobs (and even job search) relies to some degree on computers. The total cost for equipment for this center is $4,000. We will also need to have funds to hire an Iraqi instructor. We hope you can help make this dream come true.

Movie Nights:
Another dream is to obtain a large tv and DVD player so we can have “movie nights/days” for all ages. We’d like to increase the number of social opportunities by hosting viewings of sports events (for men and teen boys), children’s videos, teen video night, craft instruction, etc - and to be able to provide in Arabic on health, parenting skills, pre-natal care, and other topics that can increase awareness and skills.

As many of you know, Collateral Repair Project has been able to offer you tax deductions for your contributions by being a project under International Humanities Center (IHCenter). IHCenter has always charged us a fee for this service but this year they raised their fee to 10% of amounts donated. We felt that this was too large of a percentage being taken away from those your generosity was meant to help. We have now filed our Articles of Incorporation as a stand-alone nonprofit organization and now 100% of your giving goes directly to our projects for Iraqi refugees. We are working with our CPA to obtain 501.c.3. In the meantime, while our application is pending, IRS,“in good faith”, allows your contributions to be tax-deductible
***If writing a check for your donation, from now on please make the check out Collateral Repair Project or CRP only. ***Questions about our tax status?: contact us

New Web Site:
We are renovating our web site - actually doing a complete make-over. Our old site had become cluttered and we wanted to create a site that is easy to navigate and gives you the most current information about our work easily. Sasha is our web master as well as working full-time on the ground in Jordan so renovations are going slowly. Please check into our site once in a while to see its progress and to find out about our most current work

www.collateralrepairproject.org

Facebook Causes: Collateral Repair Project. We want to thank all of you who have joined our Cause in the past and donated or dedicated your birthday to raising funds for our projects. However, now we ask you not to give through Causes because they take a large percentage of every donation. Also, our FB Cause was associated to International Humanities Center and we are no longer a project of IHCenter. If you give now, CRP will not receive it. Please, if you want to give, do so through our web site or by check so that 100% of your contribution goes to our projects.

We always need volunteer English teachersand tutors at our Amman Center. If you are a native or skilled English speaker and you are in Amman (or plan to be), please contact us.

Want to help with our web site? You do not need to know HTML - our site is being built with an online site building program that is very simple. Check out www.wix.com (our site host) to get an idea of how it works and then, if interested, please contact us.

We need someone/s to manage our Facebook page and group - adding content once a week at minimum. Volunteer/s would be in contact with Sasha in Jordan who will give you links to pertinent articles as well as updates on our current work and families who need assistance. Contact us if interested.

Our Iraqi Women’s Craft Co-op needs volunteer marketers in the USA and beyond. If you think you can help, please contact us.

We have been blessed with wonderful volunteers who have spent time at our center in Jordan, sharing their skills and friendship with Iraqis we serve. We cannot thank you enough! Our deepest gratitude to:

Meera Shanti Lucy Perkins Liz Brasington Farhana Esmail Mickey Hubbard Ross Wingo Taiyo Hanin Samia Qumri Rawan Arar Ally Hawkins Samira Kheirallah (with colleagues & friends) Michelle Munjanattu Ian Ben Woodman ~ and more

We also want to thank those of you in the USA who have pitched in and helped raise awareness and funds for our projects or donated items for us to bring to Jordan to give to Iraqis. You are terrific! Thank you on behalf of those whose hearts and needs have been filled by your generosity of spirit:

Sherian Garcia - who, with her daughter make “newborn kits” to give as welcoming gifts

Our Pacific Northwest Knitters (Bethel, Liz, Jane, Rachel, Libby, Nancy, Marisa...and others we may not know to include personally) for knitting scores of lovely warm hats to distribute to Iraqis in Jordan

David Albert & Ellen Sawislak - and Friends - who contributed boxes of craft supplies, crayons, water colors, harmonicas, recorders, start-up funds for our diaper project, contibuted to our lending library and for sending their daughter, Meera, to volunteer with us. We especially thank them for opening their home and welcoming into their Olympia Washington community to sponsor Ahmed in his resettlement to the USA when he arrived there just this week!

Carmen Schmidt & husband - for translation and offering terrific ideas for craft projects for our kids’ classes

Tracy Early - who initiated a project to link Iraqi children here with the students in her son’s classroom. Jack and his classmates made drawings and sent a class photo to share with their new friends here. We took these drawings and photo to a school that is sponsored by UNICEF - along with gift bags containing art supplies for each of the 104 Iraqi students. These students made drawings to send back to the US school - and sent their class photo as well. We hope this is just the beginning of a long friendship.

Mateo Watts - for creating his wonderful “peace garden” of zinnias that he sold at his local Farmers Market to raise funds for our projects and to purchase supplies for our Young Adult Art Classes. Thank you, Mateo, for your big heart and your support!

Yusra - who will be celebrating her 6th birthday on December 19 and instead of expecting gifts for herself, she has asked those she’s invited to her party to give to buy clothes and toys for three Iraqi girls here who have nothing. A little girl with a big, big heart! Thank you kisses to Yusra and Happy Birthday!

Nahoko Takato - who has dedicated her life to raising awareness of the devastation of war on Iraq and its people and who works tirelessly to bring relief to Iraqis both inside and out of Iraq for her generous contribution that is providing a tutor, school supplies and clothes to a young Iraqi girl - and much, much more

Hussein al-Alak / Iraq Solidarity Committee & Combat Stress UK - for his friendship and for raising funds and awareness of our work - our gratitude!

Mori D Samel-Garloff, Joanne Navikas & friends - for organizing political caroling each Christmas while collecting donations for CRP

Debbie Rodriguez / OASIS RESCUE - for sending a beauty-shop-in-a-box to one of our Iraqi women who resettled to the US and needed supplies to do hair and make-up for her neighbors so she could earn money to help feed her family during this difficult time of adjustment to their new country

Lucy Perkins - special thanks for helping to initiate HOPE WORKSHOP (our Iraqi women’s craft co-op), for marketing and creating a web site for them and their products.

Karen Ahern - for taking on selling our Pashmina shawls to raise funds for our work - as well as our Iraqi Women’s Craft co-op products.

All of you who spent time, clipping magazine images and sending them to us to use in our Teen/Young adult collage class - thank you! The kids are having a great time with the clippings.

Karen B Jones - CRP Outreach Liaison volunteer in Seattle who tirelessly works wonders creating fun fundraisers that bring many people together to support our work. Thank you, Karen!

Marilyn Costamagna - who is our volunteer behind-the-scenes miracle woman, running errands, putting together all of our thank you and holiday cards, operating our informational tables, and basically keeping our loose ends from fraying! We couldn’t do it without you, Marilyn - thank you!

Anonymous Angels - several of you have responded personally, contributing to help specific families in a big way when you have read about them through our Facebook postings. Your help has vastly improved the lives of these families. Our deepest gratitude to you for reaching out with a helping hand and with your friendship.

We appreciate YOU - the many unnamed angels who have donated throughout the year. You keep our programs going and the hope alive for so many. We are deeply appreciative of the continued support of individuals like you. Your support nourishes the lives of those who struggle daily for basic necessities of food, shelter and dignity. When you plan your year end, tax deductible charitable giving, please remember the many Iraqi refugees who need our help

Our gratitude and warmest wishes for a new year bright with joy and filled with peace

PLEASE DONATE NOW

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Caroling for CRP

2010-12-24T00:08:00.000-08:00

Our thanks Mori Samel-Garloff and Joanne Novikas for organizing four days of “political caroling” in Ashland, OR, in support of CRP. All donations collected will go to support our programs. I had the pleasure of caroling with Mori and Joanne on Sunday, Dec 19^th. At our last stop the child in the photo took off her winter coat to show off her shiny red dress while she danced to our songs.

And thanks to Kate Gould, who wrote the following article and photos which she posted on Rogue Valley Indy Media . http://rogueimc.org/en/2010/12/16768.shtml and agreed to share here. Bravo for braving winter’s wrath, undaunted and upbeat.

“On Friday December 17th, my sister Beth Gould and I joined the organizers of the effort, Mori Samel-Garloff and Joanne Navickas, in a fun-filled evening belting out the most vibrant and witty peace carols I ever could have imagined. It was only after a Bloomsbury employee came out and asked where the songs came from that I learned that many are Sami-Garloff/Navickas originals! Mori and Joanne told me that every year they write new songs. The results are astoundingly creative calls for an end to war and sizing down the bloated U.S. military budget. Other songs call for the protection of veterans, homeless, children, and other vulnerable populations inside of our country and for victims of war and suffering in foreign lands.

“The streets were fairly empty that night as the wind howled and rain poured, but those who did pass by on the way in or out of Bloomsbury Books or restaurants on the plaza were overwhelmingly supportive and several contributed to the coffee can collection for the Collateral Repair Project (CRP), a local non-profit serving Iraqi refugees in Amman, Jordan. One fan joined us and taught us a new Christmas carol. Others made their appreciation known by gleeful grins, spontaneous bursts of applause, joyous cheers, and the classic "thumbs up" signal of approval.

“It was a memorable evening for all involved and kudos should be given to the organizers for bringing vitality and community connection not only to the streets of Ashland but also to the streets of Amman where so many Iraqi refugees are working to rebuild lives torn apart by the U.S.-invasion and occupation of their country.

“Mori told me that it's become quite a holiday tradition over the last four years. When I asked Mori what motivated her to organize the caroling, she said "it it is important to not to take a single thing for granted and to continue working in action towards a better world." She told me that it feels great to be able to send some support back to The Collateral Repair Project (CRP).

“The Collateral Repair Project (CRP) is a southern Oregon-based, grassroots movement created to address the catastrophic displacement of 5 million Iraqis since the U.S.-invasion of 2003. Since precious few Iraqis are allowed to enter the formal sector workforce in Jordan, CRP's micro-projects provide desperately needed income generating and educational opportunities. CRP also facilitates the cumbersome bureaucratic process for Iraqi refugees to access vital assistance from the United Nations Agency for Refugees (UNHCR) and other NGOs. CRP runs a Family Resource and Community Center and many other projects which you can get a sampling at their blog: http://collateralrepairproject.blogspot.com/ or website: http://www.collateralrepairproject.org/

http://www.collateralrepairproject.org/donate)

Here is a small taste of these witty, creative lyrics:

Ode to Bernie (Sung to the tune of "It's Beginning to Look a Lot like Christmas)
~Mori Samel-Garloff
"Dreams that Congress were all a bit like Bernie,
Senator of Vermont,
Bravely telling it like it is, the country in war business
Among shrinking working class, and wealthy want!..."

Ditty on War Toy Alternatives (To the Tune of "Jingle Bells")
~Author unknown
Little kids will learn by what their parents do,
So when you buy their toys, it's really up to you,
If you buy them guns, you teach them how to kill,
But violence is not a game and we have had our fill...

You can buy them books, and dolls and cars that run
There's lots of things that you can get, but they don't need a gun
You can give them hugs, and teach them how to play
So they'll grow up all safe and sound and not get blown away!

THANK YOU KATE, BETH, MORI AND JOANNE and DANCER IN RED

2010-11-14T13:20:00.000-08:00

SUNK IN A VORTEX, cont’d

Our initial contact with this family came through a hand written letter by the mother, describing the family’s economic and emotional downward spiral since fleeing to Jordan. The family left Iraq in Spring 2010 following a death threat. You can read the report and excerpts from the letter in the previous post.

On Thursday we paid our first visit to the family. We found that they live in a two room apartment with peeling paint and no furniture except one plastic chair and worn carpets. There are no closets or wardrobes for clothing and personal items. The family’s meals are prepared on a small, one burner gas stove in a corner of their kitchen. Cooking utensils are sparse. They don’t have a refrigerator for proper storage of perishables, which makes shopping every day both more expensive and time-consuming for a family of 6.

In the sleeping room a large section of the plaster had fallen from the ceiling while the children were playing in the room. Fortunately no one was hurt but they are justifiably afraid that more will fall this winter when the rains arrive.

Propped against the wall on one side of the sleeping room a piece of wood, approximately 3’x3’, serves as a makeshift blackboard for the children to write on (Mom says they love to write). It was the only visible “toy” in the apartment.

They sleep on two single size foam mats which they put together into one bed. Nights are getting cold now and they have no heat, so they all bundle together at night under their two blankets. Fortunately, one of CRP’s Iraqi friends donated a crib for the baby and she no longer has to sleep on the floor.

The couple is clearly depressed and their sense of hopelessness is visible. The older children – 3, 6 and 8 years -- don’t smile or respond to friendly overtures, even when we handed them small gifts, our custom when visiting families with children. They seemed to regard us with a wariness tantamount to suspicion, but likely a result of trauma from the sudden, life-altering circumstances they have endured. Their parents both have university degrees, held professional jobs and lived a comfortable life prior to the invasion in 2003. Now they are destitute with no opportunity to work.

The three oldest daughters attend school and Dad says that, despite their circumstances, they are doing very well, adding with clear pride “they are very smart.” But they lack the all the required school supplies – copy books, pencils, erasers, etc -- and have only one backpack to share between them. They also need new shoes.The wife, who speaks excellent English , expressed a genuinely deep passion for children’s and women’s rights and welfare, especially education. She brightened and became animated when we discussed with her the possibility of tutoring another Iraqi child who has missed much school and was unable to enroll this term due to lack of room in local public schools. A donor had contributed funds for a tutor but we have been searching for a qualified person. This mother seems a perfect fit. As she expressed, “I want to pay my own way.”
The family does not receive UNHCR cash assistance and has fallen 4 months behind in rent. Fortunately, according to the father, the landlord is very sympathetic to their situation. But this is still a debt that one day must be reconciled. UNHCR cash assistance is not retroactive to the time of registration and may even be denied altogether. They have no money to provide even their basic needs and have been minimally surviving on the charity of others for food. The mother worries about her children, stating that they are not receiving proper nutrition and have become noticeably pale.

The multitude of needs for this family is overwhelming and beyond CRP’s current resources. However, thanks to several donors who have responded, we went shopping for the family and were able to purchase blankets for all as well as sturdy, cloth covered sleeping mats, clothes for the baby and all the necessary school supplies. We also found a used stove in good condition. Today, everything was delivered to them. They will still need a heater for winter, coats and shoes for the children, help with back rent, a refrigerator and food.

This family is only one of a whole host in similar straits and serves as one example of the conditions and hardships thousands are enduring. With more refugees arriving from Iraq, the situation compounds daily. Most wait for months for UNHCR cash assistance, living lives of desperation while debts accrue, hopelessness overwhelms and the sense of dignity slowly crumbles. For them, the consequences of war are everyday life. CRP needs your help to address a small part of an overwhelming situation.

You can donate at www.collateralrepairproject.org

SUNK IN A VORTEX

2010-11-04T00:09:00.000-07:00

Sunk in a Vortex

In the short week of being back in Amman I have been overwhelmed by the changes in CRP since my last visit just 8 months ago. In April, CRP moved to a much larger apartment, realizing a long held dream of becoming a bona fide Family Resource and Community Center. The larger quarters now facilitate several levels of English classes, the Women’s Craft Coop, a lending library, a weekly Men’s Dominoes Night, Kid’s Art and Music activities and a “Free Store” for distribution of donated clothing, blankets and household items. None of this would have been possible in the previous small apartment out of which we operated. CRP is now well established in the Iraqi refugee community and known throughout the neighborhood as a place where Iraqis feel free and at ease to engage in a range of activities.

But CRP is more than classes and social events. We continue to provide emergency assistance as our small budget allows and this part of our project is also well known within the community. Almost daily we are approached by one or more individuals whose family situations are desperate and who have endured the unthinkable – torture, death threats, kidnappings and murder of family members. Usually we are contacted by mobile phone or learn of a case from another Iraqi refugee.

But on Monday night we received a handwritten appeal given to Sasha by a young man, just as two English classes were getting underway. There was no opportunity to read the letter until the end of the evening, after all had left and the Center again became our living quarters.

The letter is written in beautiful handwriting and eloquent English. The woman who wrote it introduces herself as a mother and former English teacher in Iraq. Last February her husband was threatened with death and fled to Jordan seeking asylum. His wife joined him three months later with their 5 small children including an infant.

She writes:

“I was so optimistic to get the chance of a better life. But unfortunately I found myself sunk in another vortex!! …Till I lost hope in seeing light in the end of the dark tunnel I’m rushing through.”

Now they are living in an apartment “small as a cell” with no furniture or refrigerator, for which they pay $127 a month. “My little baby sleeps on the ground without a cradle like other babies all over the world. It tears my heart apart. I live in real anguish and perplexity.”

They are not receiving UNHCR cash assistance and are now 7 months behind in rent. A few weeks ago she had to sell her wedding ring to buy food for her children.

It can take months after registering with UNHCR to receive cash assistance and then, it is often denied. In the meantime, debts pile up and days are spent going from one NGO to another pleading for help, adding to the drain on their meager finances.

Our letter writer ends her appeal with these words:

“I’m writing to you with the tongue of motherhood for the mother is a shoulder to lean on, two arms to comfort and most of all a heart to love…”

Stay tuned for further news on this family. In the coming days we will arrange a home visit to meet the family and further assess their needs and possibilities to help them.

Please consider donating to help this mother and the many other parents whose lives and dreams have been so tragically shattered. www.collateralrepairproject.org

Short Note from Amman

2010-11-01T14:14:00.000-07:00

CRP co-director, Mary Madsen, and I returned to Amman a little over a week ago. We were in the USA for 5 weeks taking care of administrative chores and are happy to be back to our direct work with Iraqi refugees here. Lots and lots has happened since the last time we posted - in fact, CRP is accomplishing so much that we never have the time to post!

We've opened a small Family Resource and Community Center in Amman! In addition to English language courses (three levels!) taught by a team of wonderful volunteers, we also have a lending library, "free store" of good used donated items, Men's Dominoes Night (a men-only social night out), Women's Craft Co-op, and children and teen art classes. All of this in addition to our "usual" full schedule of visiting families and providing them with emergency and other assistance.

Many new families have arrived in Amman in 2010, fleeing from the continuing violence and threats of death in Iraq. They arrive with practically nothing and must wait months before they are determined as eligible or not for the small monthly cash assistance grant from UNHCR. In the meantime, while they must wait, many are in crisis with no way to pay the rent or even put food on the table. We are constantly getting pleas for help with food, rent and basic household necessities - like blankets and sleeping mats.

Our funds are frighteningly low - right now we only have enough cash in our assistance budget to get us through this first week of November. If there is one thing worse than seeing a family in crisis it is not being able to respond with the help they need.

Please consider helping these families. We can't do it without YOU!

DONATE

Making a House a (Safe) Home

2010-07-30T23:09:00.000-07:00

CRP has known Thigeel , his wife, Kareema and their lovely children for a couple of years. When we are in Amman, we visit them every few months to bring the children gifts and provide assistance. as Thigeel suffers from chronic asma and lung infections and the cost of medications for him take a huge chunk out of their small UNHCR cash assistance grant.

I ran into Thigeel and his family the other night when I was walking in my neighborhood. I was surprised to see them here as they have been living in another area of Amman as long as we've known them, I asked what they were doing in Hashimi Shemali and they told us excitedly that they had just moved here - that there was too much crime in their old area and they were worried about their children. I promised we would visit them in their new home soon.

We visited on Wednesday and, after the customary kisses hello, Kareema said "We have known you since 2007 and you never forget us" - How can we, these kids are so lovely and even though they live in abject poverty, Thigeel and Kareema have always taken very good care of their kids. They proudly told us the children are all in the tops of their classes in school.

I was nearly brought to tears when Kareema asked me, "This is a much more beautiful home, isn't it?" because, it is true - this new flat, despite being incredibly run down and with plaster crumbling off its moldy walls, IS a huge improvement over their previous homes. You or I would cry if we had to move our family into this new flat and this family was proud of and so very pleased with it!

We decided to give this family a home-warming gift that will make their new place more livable and, most importantly, help with Thigeel's lung problems.

We called Ali (who was a painter by trade before he had to flee Iraq and who is CRP's unofficial handyman) and asked him to meet us there to give us an estimate to repair and paint the entire interior with mold-resistant paint! I asked Kareema what color of paint she would like and she immediately responded "White. Clean white"

We also found out that they are drinking tap water - very unsafe in Amman - and that the youngest had gotten sick from it many times. Buying small-size plastic bottles of water from the market is expensive, especially with a family of this size. We ordered 2 large bottles of water from the distributor CRP gets it's drinking water from (at only $1.40 per bottle) and made arrangements for the distributor to bring the family water when they need it.

Their new home is bare and we will also provide donated mattresses from our distribution room.

Success in Seattle

2010-07-26T22:19:00.000-07:00

THANK YOU SEATTLE

We are thrilled to report that Seattle area donors generously contributed almost $4,000 to Collateral Repair Project. Our heartfelt thanks go to the people in the Seattle area for their kindness. These funds were raised on June 2^nd at a musical fundraiser and auction was held at St. Patrick’s Church in the Capitol Hill area of Seattle.

People came from all over the region and for an enjoyable evening of song, music and fabulous desserts. Folk-singers, Jim Paige and Mark Taylor-Canfield as well as rousing singing of the Seattle Labor Chorus provided the entertainment. Our thanks go to the many talented individuals and local bakeries who provided their luscious treats for the dessert auction. We’d also like to thank individuals and local businesses who donated items and services to the silent auction Of special interest were the quilts featuring pictures drawn by Iraqi children in Amman. They were beautifully made by quilters in Vancouver, WA who generously gave of their time and effort. Mary Madsen, co-director of CRP, spoke about current projects and her recent experiences in Amman.

Funds from this event have enabled Collateral Repair Project to provide several families in need with meat and chicken, back rent for a family facing eviction, emergency room expenses and medication for a man with no money who had a medical emergency, purchase of a sewing machine for a micro-project, diapers and newborn kits for three families with newborns, purchase and for delivery of two used, good condition refrigerators, give cash assistance to families we visited who had no have no income and began monthly cash assistance to a man who has no cash assistance from UNHCR and no other means of self support.

Karen Jones, our NW Regional Volunteer Liasion and a team of just 4 people put together this event—Jean Darsie, Cobra, Ruth Williams. On site, Fred Miller of Peace Action, Rosemary Lavisor, Sonjia Tilton and Martina Boyd were invaluable in setting up for the event. Bob Morgan of Western Washington Fellowship of Reconciliation did an amazing job on the sound. “We enjoyed doing this event so much and are so happy that it was successful beyond our expectations,” said Karen. “If anyone reading this is interested in having an event or house-party for CRP, I’d be happy to speak with you and share some ideas.” To learn more about this event, auction items, co-sponsors etc, check-out http://crpseattle.pbworks.com/. To contact Karen about having an event or house-party, email peacework42@gmail.com

CRP sends our heartfelt thanks to all who made it possible to provide much needed assistance to so many Iraqi refugees.

CRP LIBRARY OPENS ITS DOOR

2010-07-19T22:50:00.000-07:00

Preview

It was during our first trip to Amman for CRP three years ago that we originally listened to Iraqi refugees voice their desire to establish a lending library available to the refugee community. As non-residents, they have no access to public libraries and little money to purchase their own books. They told us that reading provides that intangible sense of a greater world being open to them. Free access to a library gives a sense of dignity, so damaged by their circumstances, along with feeling a part of a community and as a means to enhance their children's lives and education.

We have held this dream for 3 years. On July 15th CRP opened the doors to that dream.

On our opening night, 15 books were checked out!

We purchase Arabic language books from a bookseller in Amman who has a wide variety of books for all ages and of all genres at very reasonable costs. Iraqi volunteers catalog the books according to genre and color-code them on the our shelves.

To enhance our library project we're excited to initiate our first book discussion group. They'll start with "When Wolves Grow Old" by Jordanian author Jamal Naji. The book was on the short list for the International Prize for Arabic Fiction, which is part of the prestigious Booker Prize. After the group reads and discusses the book, they'll start another, passing the first book to a new group. In this way, our library grows as well as community connections for the participants.

Our shelves are modestly stocked for now but we have faith that, with the good will of our supporters, they will fill. Just $100 a month will pay for ten books for the discussion group and a stipend for our librarian who will lead the discussion and supervise the library. If you are part of a book club or book discussion group, it would be a wonderful gift if your group could pitch in a small amount each month toward Iraqi refugees' literary discourse. If your group does this, CRP could share photos and messages between the groups for an even broader community of literature lovers and another step toward peace.

Would you like to join our "book club"? Email us at crp.info@gmail.com if you'd like to do this.

So Much Depends Upon a Cold Drink and New Friends

2010-07-03T14:49:00.000-07:00

Raad and Hayfaah, a Sabean-Mendaean couple, arrived in Amman recently, having fled Baghdad following a kidnapping attempt on Hayfaah. She tried to escape by jumping into a taxi but the militia opened fire on the taxi, hitting her in the face numerous times. Amazingly, she lived but lost one eye completely and is losing sight in her remaining eye. Her nose was reconstructed but is without bones. She was pregnant with their first child but lost it because of the attack and she is now unable to conceive. She appears to have affective disorder – blank expression, no real response, even when her husband was breaking down sobbing. We suggested counseling but they stated they are doing fine. Being newly arrived, they are likely appreciating and absorbing the sense of relief from fear. Possibly, that relief is so great that it is masking their feelings of despondency - for now.

Having only recently arrived in Jordan, they do not yet have the cash assistance from UNHCR but, even when they do begin receiving it, they will only receive120JD per month. Their little flat with its very small windows was swelteringly hot so we rushed to get them a fan to cool it a bit. We are also looking for a decent second-hand refrigerator for them. Refrigerators are especially critical for the poorest because they save food from spoilage, making their meager purchases last longer -not to mention giving them the pleasure of being able to drink cold water during the searing summers here.

Last week, Raad attended Dominoes Night and both he and Hayfaah attended the social for the first time! We were surprised and pleased that she did, considering her emotional state on our initial contact and the fact that her face is so very battered and she is nearly blind.

After our initial home visit, we were able to purchase a used refrigerator for the couple, in addition to the fan purchased earlier. These two items help ease their difficult and spare living conditions. When they attended the Social Night, Hayfaah exclaimed how good it was to be able to a have a glass of cold water now.

Their participation in CRP activities at the Family and Community Resource Center is an encouraging sign. They now have a social outlet from their previous isolation that will help them to cope with the trauma they have so recently been through. It also points graphically to the importance of the CRP Center in providing a sanctuary for those who lack options for a respite from past traumas and present hardships.

Living on the Edge of a Ravine

2010-06-24T19:20:00.000-07:00

We visited 51 year old Majeda in her one room flat in a sparsely populated neighborhood on the edge of a ravine overlooking the highway. Her only furniture is a hard single bed, a wooden chair and table, and her suitcase which she uses as a chest of drawers and contains all that she owns. Her kitchen consists of a small, one burner propane stove. She has no refrigerator or cupboards.

She, her husband, two sons and two daughters fled from the area they lived in when they received a threat message, that began "To the dirty faithless" (Majeda and her family are of Sabean-Mendai faith - pacifists who follow the teachings of John the Baptist) and went on to tell them to leave or that this group would take "God's vengence" out on them (they would be killed). They fled to another part of Iraq and thought they were safe until gunmen stormed into their home and shot and killed two of her daughters in front of her and her husband. Her husband suffered a stroke while this was happening. The couple also had two sons - one married with a wife and two little children. They "disappeared" and all are assumed dead. She said that they were a very close loving family and that they would have been in touch if they were still alive. A year after their daughters were brutally murdered in front of them, Majeda's husband died from complications from his stroke and, as she speculates, of a broken heart.

She has one remaining child - a married daughter with three children who had been resettled to Sweden. She hopes that she may be able to join her daughter some day but, for now anyway, there is no hope for this as her case is still in the "Protection" unit. Even if her case gets moved to the "resettlement" unit, there is no guarantee she will be able to join her daughter - Sweden is not accepting any more Iraqis at this time and we do not know when or if they will in the future, Also, many Iraqis are resettled in nations that are far away from those where other family members are already resettled. She is naturally very worried about this and it adds to her distress.

She came to Jordan with only a few hundred dollars in savings. When we met her, she had only 54JD remaining and her rent of 50JD was due in a few days. She has no financial help from friends or family. She does not yet receive UNHCR cash assistance and, since she arrived in March, it may be a few months more until she does receive it. CRP gave her 20JD in emergency assistance money so that she could buy food. We will write to UNHCR to ask that they consider
expediting approval for her to receive the cash assistance grant (which may or may not be successful) Even if Majeda gets the cash assistance, it will only be 75JD per month (the same as all single persons receive) and, after paying her rent, will not leave her sufficient funds to pay for food, medications or transportation.

Majeda is at extreme risk. The trauma she's suffered - and is still suffering - makes her particularly vulnerable. It is hard enough to try to manage survival for those who have family around them to support them but, for Majeda, these challenges can easily push her over the edge and increase her suicidal tendency.

CRP would like to be able to provide Majeda with 20JD ($30) every month for at least 6 months to provide some security for her and to ease her worries. We would like to purchase a small refrigerator for her because food spoils rapidly in the intense heat of summer here and, because of her health, she cannot walk the distance to the souk to purchase food frequently. We want to stay in frequent contact with her so that we can be there for her to listen to her and support her emotionally.

The cost of providing Majeda with all of these things would be approximately $350

UPDATE: We were able to purchase a small, used refrigerator for Majida, which eases her hard life to some degree. But she still lacks so much in other areas of life -- rent, food, medications and transportation -- that she remains one of the most vulnerable refugees.

2010-06-23T22:26:00.000-07:00

Mohammed, a single man, has been in Jordan approximately 2 years. When we visited his home we saw that he has practically nothing. He is not receiving cash assistance and struggles to pay the rent for his depressingly bleak studio apartment by doing odd jobs as he can find them.

Recently, when Mohammed refused to pay extortion money to a local thug, he was wrongly accused of sexual assault on the extortionist’s younger sister. When the court demanded a physical examination of the young girl, the family refused and claimed that the assault was actually against a young son in the family. The accusations were made in retaliation for Mohammed not paying a demand for money and because he stood up to their bullying. The UNHCR human rights and legal organization partner sent a lawyer who met with him only one time, having him sign papers agreeing to their representation -- and then they never returned, forcing him to hire a private attorney. He was acquitted and all charges dropped finally - but not until he had been in jail many months and incurred a lawyer's bill of 4,000 JD - which, of course, he is unable to pay. A wealthy "sponsor" paid the bill but now he owes this sponsor the 4 grand and the sponsor is holding his passport as "collateral" until he pays.

He does not yet receive cash assistance. CRP will intervene with UNHCR on his behalf in hope of facilitating UNHCR assessing him for eligibility for cash assistance. CRP also hires Mohammed for handy-man work as needed. Mohammed refuses to take money he does not earn.

CRP provided Mohammed with items from our distribution center and, with donations generously provided through Iraq Solidarity in the UK, we bought a fan for his stiffling apartment and we are looking for a small, used refrigerator for him.

CRP Today March 26, 2010

2010-05-26T17:37:00.000-07:00

IT TAKES SO LITTLE TO HELP SO MUCH

It's been two months exactly since I posted my last "TODAY" but even if I haven't posted, all of the days between March and now have been filled to overflowing with the work of CRP. We moved into the new location and have set up the distribution and activities rooms. We have held weekly English Language Socials where native and skilled English speakers join Iraqi learners for food, conversation and friendship. We are holding weekly Kids Art & Music Activities groups and Iraqi men meet here one night a week for an evening of playing dominoes (a favorite past-time when they lived in Iraq), drinking gowah (Turkish coffee) and laughs. Our new and improved Iraqi Women's Craft Co-op will begin meeting here this week. We have begun to set up a lending library. We offer Iraqis the opportunity to call relatives and friends who have been resettled to the USA and Canada for free through a nifty device that works through the internet. We will start taking family portraits soon so that they will have record of their children's growth during these years in exile when they cannot afford a studio portrait or even an inexpensive camera. And, of course, we continue to visit families and to provide them with what critically needed assistance we can.

I had hoped to "catch up" with detailed reports of all of these things but that's too formidable a task that is impossible to carry out because the current demands of each day just will not allow it. Instead, I will jump back in and post these reports as I can - hopefully more frequently. Here goes!

A Family in Immediate Need

I met Hussen the first time two days ago when we were visiting another family and asked them if they knew of anyone needing a hospital bed that was given to us by a local donor. They told me that a neighbor (Hussen) has cancer and was hoping to have surgery soon and would need the bed in his home during his recovery period. Hussen was called and he came to the home we were visiting so that we could ask him directly if he wanted the bed.

Hussen's cancer is in his larynx and the tumors must be quite large as, when he entered his neighbor's flat, I could see that his neck area is very distended. He told us that he had been trying very hard to find funding to get the tumors removed and that through several local NGOs (Non-Governmental Organizations) and a wealthy Iraqi donor, he only needed $5000 more to be able to have his surgery. $5000 to a family who cannot pay the rent or buy food might as well be a million dollars. We told him that we would see if there were any options and that we wanted to visit him and his family very soon. He told us that he did want the hospital bed.

We delivered the bed, several mattresses and a sofa (all from the same donor) to them night before last. When we entered their flat, we saw that they had nothing other than a couple of mats on the floor and a small tv ( note: most flats here are rented as "furnished" - and because satellite tv is free, you will see televisions in many Iraqi homes but this does not indicate any affluence, they are included in the "furnishings") The children (all adorable as you can see) were playing with some broken toys. We quickly dropped off the donated items and promised to visit the next evening.

We brought gifts of toys for the children: crayons and paint sets with art pads, an inexpensive transistor radio for the eldest boy, Abdullah (age 10), games, action figures, and dolls with "dress up" jewelry for the only girl, Ruqaya (age 6) For the youngest, a bouncing ball. We also had light-up magic wands for all four of the kids.

We gave their parent's more practical gifts - household cleaning supplies, some nice plates and sets of cups, and a new shirt for Hussen (all donated by local donors)

They told us how they had fled Iraq late in 2009 after Hussen's life was threatened because he worked as a security guard for the office of the UN in their area of Iraq. He knew this was a serious threat after his supervisor was murdered by the same militia. His wife's uncle was also murdered by them.

Before that, the militia had thrown a hand grenade into their home and the blast caused acoustic trauma to their eldest boy, then only 5 years old. For a while, he suffered from epilepsy but now that symptom has faded. However he still carries the trauma with him; he wakes frequently in the night, screaming, crying and ripping apart his bed clothes.

We share joy with the family that funding for the remainder of the cost of Hussen's cancer surgery has been found and he will go on Thursday to schedule for it. Even though this is a huge relief for this family, there is another concern -- Amani (his wife) is 9 months pregnant and due to deliver any time. She is bound to give birth while her husband is in the hospital (he is expected to have an extended stay of 15 days).

As if this family is not under enough pressure, they have absolutely no income. They had only $900 with them when they arrived in Jordan. Although they were frugal, that money ran out long ago. They were interviewed for eligibility for the small cash assistant grant from UNHCR in January but they still do not receive it.

They rely completely on charity and the goodness of their impoverished neighbors to survive. Last month CARE organization paid their rent. They have no idea how they can pay June's rent or even food. They have a few baby clothes ready for the new arrival but lack diapers or any type of bed to put her in.

CRP funding has dwindled dangerously so we could not, as we would have last year when funds were more abundant, pay their rent ($140) and get what they need for their baby.

All I could offer to do is to contact UNHCR and hope to urge them to expedite giving the family the cash assistance grant. I also told them that I would ask you for your help.

In response to my contacting UNHCR we learned that the family will get the cash assistance at the END of June. This means they desperately need our help NOW to pay their rent, buy food and some small items for the soon-to-arrive new baby.
Please consider donating. We would like to provide this family with:

$140 to pay June rent
staple foods for one month
an inexpensive bassinet and diapers

Only $250 would pay for all of these things and give this family some security during this exceptionally trying time for them.

You can find out how to give here:
http://collateralrepairproject.org/Donate.html

THANK YOU!

CRP Welcomes Meera Shanti

2010-05-26T15:54:00.000-07:00

Meera Shanti is a 20 year old university student currently doing a 5 week internship with CRP in Amman. Meera grew up in Washington State but now lives on the east coast where she attends university.

Meera is staying with Sasha at our CRP Resource Center. She’s been accompanying Sasha on many home visits and has been an invaluable help to CRP as we establish our programs at the CRP Resource Center.

Since her arrival, she has been doing almost daily entries on her own blog, which she has generously agreed to share with us. We think you’ll enjoy reading her perspective and reactions to her experiences as a newcomer to the Middle East, as well as descriptions of the Resource Center activities.

Please scroll down to the bottom to start from the beginning.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

4 Hours of Fun!

Although the Children's Art and Music Activity Group will remain relatively similar week to week in terms of who participates, the individual activities taken on by the children are ever changing. Kids get bored, and that's just the way it is. It is then our responsibility as planners, teachers, and as fellow participants to come up with new and exciting activities for the students to engage in each week.

This Friday's session went as follows. There was again the same two age groups participating, ages 4-7 and 8-12, although this time there were a few more people in each group making the day a bit more lively. Just as happened last week, the younger group of children went first. Ghazwan, Sasha's colleague and translator I have mentioned before, first read the children a story and asked them questions as he went along. Next on the list was an activity that was slightly more messy than book reading. The children each were given one of many different colored balloon hats that had been made earlier in the day. The balloon hats were then lined with white glue on one side, most obviously not the side that would be touching the kids' heads. This is were the messy part began. Glitter, sequins, feathers, and most every other shiny or fluffy decoration one can think of....the children loved it! They spent the next half hour sticking these different decorations to their balloon hats and even before they had finished, their smiles got brighter and their eyes grew bigger. Although I am sure there was still glue and glitter on the floor, on the table, and in the children's hair, this did not keep them from fully enjoying their afternoon snack. As the children hurried to gulp down their juice boxes and crunch their last chip, there was a slight change to the day's schedule. Instead of having the younger kids wait for the older group to finish their session, everyone would spend the middle half hour, after the young group's snack time, playing music.

This was by far my favorite part! I did not need to speak Arabic to communicate to these mini Mozarts and soon to be Beethovens. I spent the following 20 minutes, after everyone had a chance to pick and choose the specific instrument they wanted to play (harmonica, drums, flute, etc.) demonstrating just a few simple things. After taking the first ten minutes teaching each instrumental group how to pay soft, then loud, then slow, then fast, it was time to hear the beauty that had been created. Using a common Arabic beat in the background, I would change the volume on the beat in order to signal to the kids to play in one of the numerous different ways they had learned at the beginning. wahid, itnen, thaletha.....and the children would come to a complete stop. The one, two, three, STOP! was probably the winner of the day. After everyone silenced, it was only a few short seconds before they all began laughing.

Although these little proteges may not yet have made it to Benaroya Hall or Blues Alley, there enthusiasm has put them half way there. It is my hope and dream that every child should be so lucky as to play, learn about, and hear some form of music in his or her life. It is most evident in my own life that sounds serve as an expression for all, and it is that unifying quality found in music that I had the privilege of watching each child embrace.

As for the older group of children, their task was a new and challenging one. Following Sasha and Ghazwan's short lesson on how to paint someone's face, where to place the eyes, nose, ears, etc., the children were then asked to paint the face of that person to which they were sitting across. Dark skinned, light skinned, blue eyes, brown eyes, boy, girl, hijab, no hijab, these students' drawings and paintings spoke for themselves. The smiles and surprises began when every person had their picture taken holding their portrait but standing next to that person whom they had depicted in their art. It was a fun yet challenging experience for all. After the portraits came the group activity. As we laid out a large brown sheet of paper spanning nearly an entire three tables' length, Ghazwan wrote on the center of the paper We Love Iraq, using a heart instead of the wordlove. Within 20 minutes, this was one of the most beautiful murals ever. Some kids painted flags of Iraq, while others drew palm trees and sunshine. One figure in particular that has stayed with me since the event was a painting that a young man did right below the center phrase. He painted a brownish male stick figure, nothing too unique, but in the center was a very detailed depiction of this boy's heart. It had a flag inside with the country's honorable Arabic script painted in the center, symbolizing that the man's heart would always be in Iraq.

While the mural is far from completed, there are also many more Fridays to come. As the children will spend a portion of next week and the following completing the work of art they have just begun, I am anxiously awaiting the time when this beautiful masterpiece can hang from the wall of CRP to be seen by all.

Posted by Meera at 5:00 AM 1 comments

Please & Thank You

Please and thank you is a phrase you learn in nearly every language, in almost every culture, in virtually all countries around the world . You hear it at the very beginning of a conversation, then again towards the end and often several times in between.

Please...

After working with Sasha for only two short weeks, it is a continual inspiration that someone with a relatively comfortable life in the U.S. should decide to leave behind that life in order to live here in Amman and dedicate her efforts to a never ending cause. Humbled and challenged by the opportunity to work with CRP, I am personally experiencing the intense emotional roller coaster that comes with doing such work, still insignificant to the trauma and pain faced by those communities we are serving. While some of the work Sash does is intangible, listening and making sure people know that their stories are being heard, a great deal of CRP's work (emergency assistance, etc.) is contingent upon the financial support received from outside donors. I am writing this blog in particular to request that you donate whatever you are able, small as it may be, towardsCRP. While I understand that there are an infinite number of causes and people to support in this world, I hope that the sharing of Iraqi stories through my own writing has built a bridge allowing for a personal link between America and Iraq.

As many of you reading this have probably known me for several years, you may be familiar with the fact that I have given several solo piano recitals to benefit numerous causes around the world. When deciding which specific organization I want to benefit at each recital, I always take the time to identify those with which I have or feel a personal connection. That said, if you feel you have gained any connection with the Iraqis about whom I am writing, I highly encourage you to donate.http://collateralrepairproject.org/Donate.html

...Thank you

Whether you have decided to donate or not, thank you for taking the time to consider your own means as well as those of CRP and the Iraqis whom we assist. I understand that is often much easier not to allow a world full of problems take over your life as is, so I thank and commend you for looking inwards to yourself to consider whether or not it is in your ability or heart to assist.

Posted by Meera at 4:59 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

English Language Social - Take Two!

Because it in not my intention to bore you by telling nearly the same story that was last week's social, I am writing only to make two distinctions between the two events.

While there was enough American cuisine for approximately 60 people last week, this Tuesday was slightly different. A woman who normally attends the social as a fellow English learner and socializer gifted us with the amazing taste of an Arabic meal. This unusual delight consisted of two Biryani dishes with two different meats (thinly sliced meat, rice, and vegetables), Dolma (grape leaves filled with rice and vegetables), and fresh Tabbouleh (finely chopped parsley, tomato, onion, lemon juice, olive oil and seasoning). In Iraq, the Tabbouleh dish is considered native to the city of Mosul whose cuisine is closely tied to that of Syria. Oh, and there was some really really sweet dessert!

Maybe in part because of the amazing meal, an overwhelming number of guests showed up to this week's social. While I would love to say, "the more the merrier", a living room and activity room meant to hold around 50 people does not do so well with 75. Even as people began to filter in and out which made the room seem a bit less crowded from time to time, there was not nearly enough food. As people talked and ate in nearly every room in the house, people began to flood into the streets. At the end of the night, after food and conversation and a few rounds of dominoes, it was CRP's decision to hold off on next week's social until a new structure could be established. It is our latest plan to have the social split into two groups, A and B. This way, everyone will still have the opportunity to attend, but the number of people participating each week will be much more manageable and less expensive in terms of preparing the food. It is also a possibility that we will alternate between American and Arabic cuisine, or possibly split each week's meal between the two cultures.

While I have had previous experiencing planning, facilitating, and managing similar events, every week brings something new. It is truly exciting and exhilarating to know that no matter how hour many hours of thought and planning and work goes into hosting such an event, there will always be a need to make it different. How cool is that!

Posted by Meera at 4:50 PM 0 comments

Monday, May 17, 2010

Continuous Pain

Continuous and excruciating pain, that was just the way this man lived. Because he was working with American troops in Iraq, this man was kidnapped and horribly tortured leading to a life of constant and almost unbearable pain today. In addition to his own suffering, numerous other members in his family were kidnapped and or killed as a response to his work with U.S. military.

While visiting with this man and his family at their home on the opposite side of the city, it was evident that his past suffering and traumas were the least of his worries. Within the first few months of arrive to Jordan, his family's entire savings was stolen. As it can take an immense amount of time after registering with UNHCR for families to begin receiving cash assistance, this often puts families in a very uncomfortable financial situation in addition to the already mentioned physical and psychological struggles so many of these families must overcome.

With no savings, only recent cash assistance, and rent and medical expenses stacked against him, this man was under a great amount of physical and emotional stress as well as recently being informed of his family's threatened eviction from their home. This is where CRPcomes in. While there are an infinite number of needs each family would like us to fill, it is Sasha's ad CRP's job to come to these families' homes and perform the general assessment I mentioned in my first home visit in order to prioritize all of these necessities. After spending several hours with the family and learning about their situation both past and present, CRP decided to give this man enough money to pay his past due rent. While this financial assistance served more as a band-aid rather than an actual treatment, it was a problem that required solving before any of this family's other issues could be addressed.

As I spent most of my life testing and learning that giving people money to solve their problems tends never to reach the actual cause but only to aid in solving a person's most short-term needs, I now understand the other side of the coin. As one of my teachers has said to me several times, "money doesn't make you happy, but it will buyyou all the things that do". Not only am I beginning to see that this saying holds true in many situations, but that it is actually refreshing and helpful to think and assist those around you when viewing a problem or set of circumstances from this perspective. While many of us would like to think that money is not what solves our discomforts and lessens our struggles, there is no way around it. Happiness, however, is a very indirect and relative concept. It is indirect in the sense that it money does not immediately lead to happiness but that it makes possible a stable situation in which one often finds happiness. It is a relative concept suggesting that while happiness for you and I may be having the financial capability to buy the newest iPod or a two story house, happiness for others is often merely the security that comes with having a roof over your family's head and enough food and water to keep that family alive.

Understanding that happiness is both indirect and relative, it is the simple quote mentioned earlier that put my mind at ease when CRPdecided to hand over a large amount of money only to solve one man's immediate needs.

Posted by Meera at 12:32 PM 0 comments

A Biased Story

I want to interject in my own blog/electronic journal to make a few, but in my view very necessary points. I have no doubt that there are people of all political, religious, and ethnic backgrounds reading the stories I share. As there may be many of you who may disagree with much of my writing and have taken it upon yourself to assume a certain bias in my voice in order to rationalize this disagreement, your assumptions are most likely correct .

My upbringing was one of the best I know, one that taught me to truly appreciate and understand all sides to story, no matter how many existed. It is a result of this holistic upbringing that I feel it necessary to make clear the position from which I am writing during my time in Amman.

I fully understand that there is a much greater context into which my writing could be placed, a context containing much more military, political, and religious information to explain and accompany each individuals' journey from Iraq to Amman. This premise understood, I came to work for CRP with the intention of understanding and conveying the notion of human suffering, a notion that is inexcusable regardless of the circumstances upon which it followed. Sunni orShia, male or female, child or adult, educated or uneducated, it is not these such characteristics that should control an individuals' possibility for danger and suffering in the world.

Most of you reading this blog most likely live a relatively comfortable and stable life. Comfortable in the sense that you are free to see a a doctor if you or your children should find yourselves ill. Stable with regards to the fact that you are able to work for wages, legally, not worried with such great intensity that your children will not receive adequate nourishment to survive until tomorrow. These descriptions of instability and discomfort are unfortunately experienced by a daunting number of people existing in most all parts of the world. It is our responsibility, if not to actively alleviate these sufferings, to understand that we will never experience or live to tell such horrific stories, and it is therefore not in our ability to judge based on this inexperience.

I am writing to tell the stories of those who have never been told. If these individuals' narratives do not include any military, political, or religious context as mentioned above, then so be it. No matter what preconceived notions we as Americans may have about those living in or fleeing Iraq, our preconceive notions will never be comparable to trauma and violence that these families have experienced. The simple fact that there are so many stories I am not able to disclose due to the danger they might possess, needs no further explanation. The possibility that those from Iraq should be so brave as to speak and share with those who are partially responsibly for or representative of their past traumas is yet another testament to their bravery. I understand and want to clearly express that the U.S. military or America's war in Iraq is not the sole or even the most common causation of every individuals' stress, illness, trauma, or danger. Our presence in these peoples' country however, regardless of its intentions, still serves as a contributor to the suffering and displacement of many, and I am writing for them.

Posted by Meera at 12:13 PM 0 comments

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Only Photos

I say only photos, because that is all this man had. Although it is not possible to consider one person's story more devastating than any other, I could not even begin write about this man's experience until several days later because of the intense emotion it carried. Before attempting to share this man's dreadful reality, as Sasha said to me today, "how dare I make [his] suffering my own". While I am overwhelmed by the personal sadness and discomfort brought about by hearing each and every one of these stories , I am also fully aware that my own feelings and emotions are incredibly insignificant when compared to those of the Iraqis who's stories are being told.

Last year, a middle aged Iraqi man found another Iraqi man passed out on the floor of a shop where he had been sleeping for who knows how long. When the man was taken to the hospital it was discovered that he had suffered a stroke, and had lost all movement on one side of his body. After spending four days in the hospital, he was then brought to the home of the man who found him, and has been staying there ever since. The home where he was taken in is already inhabited by 11 other children along with their mother and father. It is beyond commendable that a family with such insufficient space and resources for themselves should be so kind and loving as to take in another man with such great needs. Although this man has recovered a small portion of his speech and and can now move short distances using a cane, it still takes a great amount of effort and concentration for him to produce a simple word or sentence. Able to understand both Arabic and English, I cannot imagine the frustration that this man now faces not being able to speak comfortably in either language. While he could have easily chosen to use only writing to communicate his story to those listening, his bravery and courage were more present than ever when he instead decided to use the majority of his energy (both emotional and physical) to speak about his experiences.

While his physical situation may seem devastating by itself, there is much more involved in the story of this man's intense pain and suffering. The family he was staying with when we visited, the one with 13 family members, has been approved for resettlement to the U.S. and will most likely be moving in the next few months. Not only is this man not able to work legally because of his status as an Iraqi in Jordan, but because his physical condition after his stroke has made this possibility nearly obsolete. The savings he had brought to Jordan was stolen shortly after he arrived, adding immense financial stress to his already tragic circumstances.

The information above is only that of his most recent trauma and how that trauma has brought him to where and how he is living now. His real sadness lies in his photos. Once we had introduced ourselves and established a general foundation regarding his current medical and living situation, he began to show us his photos. Two beautiful daughters, one handsome some, and the love of his life, his wife, brought tears to both his and my eyes. After his wife and kids were offered resettlement in the U.S. last year, this family's father and husband was left behind. Although he was told his file was to be included with that of his wife and kids, this was not the case. After his family had resettled, his wife suffered from a stroke as well, only a few days apart from her husband who was still stuck in Amman. Later in the month when this man went to a scheduled interview in hope of being reunited with the rest of his family in the states, he was asked to leave the interview because he was not able to speak, read, or write clearly as it was only two weeks after having his stroke. Several days later, for reasons never fully specified to him or his family, his case was closed.

While it is not completely clear to me the numerous different places this man worked and lived while with his family in Iraq, it was clear that for two years time this man was a subcontractor working with the U.S. military. For many Iraqis, the notion of working with or helping the U.S. often results in death threats. After having his son kidnapped twice while working with U.S. forces in Iraq, he and his family made their way to Amman where they were then able to register with UNHCR and move into the stage of protection. Although his wife and children's case was obviously moved along as is evident by the fact that they are now living in the United States, this man was never clearly told what stage his case was in. When he was told via telephone that his case had been closed, no such paper record existed of his rejection for resettlement, making it impossible for him to make an appeal. While one may wonder why the majority of his family left to the U.S. instead of staying with him in Amman, the opportunities for resettlement are limited, and it was most important to him that his family go if their case was approved.

As I recently found out that the man who's story I am telling has been offered another interview with IOM (International Office of Migration) holding the possibility of resettlement, I can now think and breath without sadness of this man's tears taking over my mind. As him, his wife, and all of his children have undergone sever physical and psychological trauma for several years now, what this man needs and most obviously deserves, is to be with his family.

Posted by Meera at 8:01 AM 1 comments

My New Brother

Several nights ago when Sasha and I arrived back to CRP, there was a skinny young boy sitting outside in the garden area in front of the house curled up with his backpack. As Sasha informed me that many people would come to the door asking for food and money, and most obviously we cannot help them all, I was hesitant to let the boy in the house as I did not recognize him as being someone we or CRP was familiar with. Seconds later, the doorbell rang. When Sasha recognized the boy through the window, she immediately let me know it was okay for us to bring him into the house, and the boy began to weep. This young man who had been waiting for nearly three hours in front of the house that night, Iraqi and a victim of domestic violence, is now part of my family. He is my new brother, and cares and looks out for me as I am his sister.

While not necessarily in the general description of CRP's work, CRP attempts to help Iraqis living in Jordan in any way possible. Although the situation will not be fixed overnight, Sasha and I were able to talk with the boy and his family and put into place both a short and long-term plan to resolve the issues as agreed upon by all. Meeting this young man, more amazing and brave then most people I know, has truly deepened my understanding of what Sasha is here to do. This experience helped me to better understand why it is so crucial that every individual be given as much time as needed to address his or her unique situation, and why the work of CRP in general is so important to all Iraqis young and old. The CRP center has become a safe haven for many Iraqis, and it is a great privilege and honor to be working with such an amazing community and for such an extraordinary organization.

Posted by Meera at 3:23 AM 0 comments

Saturday, May 15, 2010

From Fallujah to Olympia

When Gandhi said "[b]e the change you want to see in the world", I almost immediately think of my parents. I think of them because they found a way to do just that, to instill in their children a sense of personal responsibility to the world in which we they live. For my parents specifically, this meant that when I called around 5pm to let them know to cook dinner for one more person because I had taken in a young woman from Australia who was looking for a place to stay, they accepted with no hesitation. This meant that my mother and father placed me into countless uncomfortable situations (culturally, linguistically, religiously, etc.), and I was then asked to learn how to be a fish, and swim. I make the distinction that they never once insisted that I learn how to swim, that I convert to a certain religion or learn a particular language in order to fit in. They only requested that I spend enough time around fish (people of different linguistic, cultural, and religious backgrounds ), that swimming or getting along those who were different from me became a natural way of navigating through the sea.

It was important to me that I share the above metaphor as a means of expressing the truly unique childhood I had. This experience as it has manifested itself today, has networked me into a world of meeting a million new people a day, and I can't imagine a better way to live. As my parents recently decided to sponsor an Iraqi mother and son who will be coming to live in Washington state in the coming months, they have gone above and beyond the requirements of sponsorship and invited these two people into their home. Because my sister and I have both established lives on the opposite side of the country, Bushra and her son Furat will be staying in our rooms when they arrive, hopefully giving them a sense of what it means to have a home and a bit of privacy as they will both have a room to them self. Although I will not have many opportunities to visit them in Olympia, WA because I am only there one month out of the year, this did not keep me from getting to know our guests as soon as possible.

After the art an music session with the children last Friday, I had the pleasure of meeting the newest two members of my family. I don't know what exactly to say other than that they are both absolutely wonderful people to be around. Bushra, with her skillful sense of humor and enthusiastic presence, there's nothing not to love. While much quieter than his mother at first introduction, Furat's calm yet engaging presence has never made we want a little brother more in my life. Sad that I will not get to be there when the two of them arrive, I have no doubt that Bushra and Furat will be one of many new family members to come, as my parents' commitment to taking care of the people and world in which they live in is far from complete.

Posted by Meera at 12:21 PM 0 comments

Art + Music + Kids = FUN!!!

Last Friday I had the privilege of helping to organize and participating in the first ever Children's Art and Music Day, week one of many to come. While not quite as organized as we may have planned, lack of organization is in no way connected to lack of fun.

The day went as follows. In the morning around 9am, Sasha and I began putting together art bags and boxes for the two different age groups that would be participating in the event, the first group four to seven and afterwards ages eight to twelve. These bags for the younger children and boxes for the older consisted of glue, scissors, crayons, and a small packet of watercolor paint. Each participant would write his or her name on the bag or box, in English or Arabic, that it would be easily identifiable at next week's session. To continue with the story, after putting together the art supplies for each child, organizing the musical instruments (recorders, drums harmonicas, etc.) so that each child could easily pick out one, and setting aside juice boxes and chips all 20 children attending, all our organization would be for nothing. What were we thinking? As soon as the children began arriving with their parents, they could barely sit still for more than 30 seconds let alone stay away from art and musical instruments.

The younger group of children went first. Sash, four other volunteers,Ghazwan, and I myself managed to keep an eye on kids, enough so that no one was stabbing someone else with a paintbrush or throwing crayons at each other. Although the children's hour was supposed to be split evenly into a half hour of art and the other half music, they seemed as if they could draw and paint and color forever. After we finally persuaded them with orange juice and chips, it was a bit to late to play any music because the older group had been waiting an entire our outside (playing with toys and reading books of course) just so they could have their turn. We decided about half way through the second group, that we would make the music time all inclusive, at least for this week. Who knows what will happen next week! While the older group decorated their boxes and draw some absolutely stunning pictures of people, places, etc., they also spent the last half of their art time painting small wooden fans. It was a nice opportunity for them to talk about some of their favorite colors, why they painted the drew with such colors, and just in general a chance to learn more about their lives. Although it was intended that the older group would have around 8 children, there ended up being only three, as some were not able to attend, and others accidentally made their way into the first group. Someone just couldn't wait to paint!

After the older group put their fans out to dry, there was about 15 minutes in the schedule left for music, and music it was. Approximately 15 minutes of children ages 4-12 playing every instrument available to them, at every pitch possible, and at every volume imaginable. Music at it's best. Maybe next week we'll be a bit more organized...maybe not!

It was quite interesting to see, although there was plenty of bickering over who got which instruments and who could hit the drum harder, an environment with no hesitation. With all the trauma that so many of these children and families have been through, it is truly inspiring to see them take on new activities. Playing an instrument, drawing a picture, or painting a fan without fear of judgement, that is something that I know myself and many others wouldn't dare to pick up and try.

Children put a non erasable smile on your face. The combination of art, and music, and little crazy 5-year-old creatures running and playing like there's no walls or doors to run into is just plain FUN. And maybe it's just cause they're funny silly little happy children, but it's those few funny silly little happy moments that help to transform the world's suffering. To make darkness into a bright sparkling room filled with balloons, and pictures of spider man, and hand-painted fans that guide the world towards peace.

Posted by Meera at 5:04 AM 7 comments

Thursday, May 13, 2010

English Language Social

While all work done between CRP and individual families is done so with Iraqis only, most events held at the CRP center are open to a wide variety of community members within the area. Just as many students from the United States travel to Jordan to study Arabic and Arab culture, people all over Amman have just as strong of a desire to learn English and socialize with those from other cultures. With this desire in mind, Sasha and CRP have established an event now known as the English Language Social, which takes place very Tuesday evening from approximately 6-10pm here at CRP. While I had seen several advertisements and invitations regarding this event via email and facebook before coming to work with Sasha, I now have a better understanding of what the event actually is, what is required to prepare, and why it is so important for this diverse group of people to come together once a week to socialize while simultaneously working towards a common goal.

Starting around 10am Monday morning, Sasha and I began cooking, cleaning, and setting up for the event up until about 15 minutes before people began to arrive. While it varies from week to week, this social in particular involved cooking American cuisine such as coleslaw, pasta salad, and other similar foods. Not great at cooking anything besides those dishes that don't require cooking in the first place (salads, fruit salads, etc.), Sasha showed me the way and put me to work. As people began to filter in around 6:30 which is equivalent to 6:00 Arab time, each participant would pick up (if he or she had come in previous weeks) or make a name tag for them self written in both English and Arabic.

The social itself consists of Muslims, Christians, Assyrians, and Sabean-Mendai. All of these individuals sent approximately two hours eating, speaking, and learning about each others' languages and cultures. As some are more hesitant to begin speaking in a new language than are others, this social serves not only as short language lesson but simply as an outlet for socialization. Although both men and women attended, there was a separation of the two as the night progressed and the men moved into another room.

Once the social started coming to a close, the activity room was then taken over by the men in order to play several rounds of the game Dominoes. One may ask, why Dominoes? While in Iraq, this game was often a social bonding point for many of the men. When Sasha picked this up, she instantly decided that Dominoes should be added to the evening's schedule. The idea is roughly equivalent to "guys poker night" in the U.S. This English Language Social is important for many reasons, the first being people's general desire to learn to speak, understand, and make socialize in English. Secondly, it is a way to build bridges of peace between several different communities in the area. The social is open most all religions, and ultimately anyone who enjoys socializing or learning more English. As there are often past tensions build up between Iraqis, Jordanians, and Palestinians, the social serves as an opportunity for people to lessen their tensions and build their friendships with one another. Lastly, the social it is truly a chance to get away from that of one's everyday life. Children come and play with other children, women catch up on each others' lives, men spend time bonding over Dominoes, and it is a learning experience for all!

Posted by Meera at 4:35 AM 0 comments

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

What is a Refugee?

Before you read anymore more of my blog, most importantly the stories being told be Iraqi men and women here in Amman, please take a moment try and understand the full reality of what it means to be a refugee. As respect to all these individuals brave enough to share their stories to me and you, it is the least we can do to understand what it is that follows the beginnings and ends of any violent conflict. Whether it is our war or not, a refugee will still be a refugee. He or she will still go on to experience many of the sametragedies and struggles regardless of whether the war eventually ends, regardless of whether we apologize, and regardless of whether or not these people displaced by war and conflict find it in their hearts to forgive for all they have lost.

" One who flees in search of refuge, as in times of war, political oppressions, or religious prosecution"

Although countless definitions of the word refugee exist today (geographical, political, etc.), I believe the definition given above serves as the most simplistic description of the terrifying reality that so many of the Iraqis I am meeting have had to face.

Posted by Meera at 12:03 PM 0 comments

My First Home Visit - A Voice for Many

When I mentioned earlier that CRP takes on a range of different issues in order to help Iraqi refugees, home visits to Iraqi families was one of the first I had the privilege of participating in. In order to understand this experience as a whole, I must first share what a home visit actually is, what it requires, and why it is such a crucial part of Sasha's work and of CRP. Initially, I should introduce the United Nations High Commissioner on Refugees or UNHCR, an organization which will be mentioned regularly throughout my stories regarding Iraqi refugees and CRP. What one really needs to know about UNHCR in relation to Iraqi refugees is as follows.UNHCR first receives millions of dollars from international donor countries in order to provide assistance to refugees. UNHCR then has what are called Implementing Partners or IPs, who impliment and futher propose projects directed towards these refugee communities using the money collected by the international community. Once an Iraqi family registers with UNHCR, that family is then considered to be in protection. This refers to a phase in which that family cannot be asked to leave Jordan in the case of an expired Visa, but only in the event that someone in the family commits a crime or another equivalent issue arises. While the rules and policies are not exactly clear to me just yet as I have just arrived and am still learning, the stage following protection is called resettlement. While both stages can last for an unlimited amount of time, the ultimate objective when in resettlement is to be resettled to one of several countries that have previously agreed to accept a specific number of refugees from specific countries, something that can unfortunately change at any given point in time. Major countries that have accepted Iraqi refugees in the past include the US, the UK, Canada France, Germany, and Australia.

Now that I have established a foundation for what UNHCR actually does, I can explain exactly how CRP's work fits into this picture, and share my first experience vising Iraqi families at their homes in Jordan. When Sasha does a home visit to that of an Iraqi family, she is ultimately doing an initial assessment of several different aspects of that family's life. This assessment encompasses everything from their life in Iraq all the way to their living situation now, as well as their most crucial needs in the immediate future . As I may have forgot to mention earlier, because these refugee families have been scattered all over Amman, it is often impossible for a family to come here toCRP in order to meet with Sasha. Secondly, doing a home visit truly allows Sasha and CRP to see how this family lives on a daily basis, something that can only be done if Sasha is to visit a family in the environment in which they are most comfortable. Although there is a language barrier between Sasha and most of these families, although some of the individuals in the family speak some English, Sasha's co-worker Ghazwan is both a translator as well as a friend to these families that CRP visits. When the two of them work together, they provide these Iraqi families with both a means of communication regarding their situations as well as a long-term system of support to help guide and encourage them into the future.

My first official home visit with CRP took place last night. I would have written sooner but there is a bit of emotional digestion that must take place before one attempts to translate such personal narratives into words. Ghazwan, Sasha, and I all took a taxi to the area where this family lived. When we knocked on the door, all three of us were welcomed with an overwhelming sense of love and warmth. Sasha and I sat on one couch, while Ghazwan sat on another couch, and the husband and wife of the family then sat across the room from us on two separate chairs. We were greeted several times over, and then served cold drinks and bread, a very common tradition of hospitality in the Middle East. After several more minutes of "hello" and "how are you?" in both Arabic and English, Sasha then took out of her bag a pile of forms on which she would be writing for the rest of the evening. While these forms contain several sections all addressing a myriad of different issues a family could be facing at any given time, I will spare you the 10 hours it would take to list all of these possible problems and just share those that are relevant to this particular family and story. This family consisted only of husband and wife. While it may have been this couple's dream to have children one day, previous circumstances and torture when living in Iraq have made this dream virtually impossible. While this might seem like an unusual story to some, this is an unfortunately common reality for so many Iraqis today. Both the husband and the wife who lived in the home we visited were brutally tortured before they fled their country several years ago. Although never convicted of an actual crime, the husband was tortured so badly while jailed in Iraq that now him and his wife are not able to have children, something that is very emotionally devastating in a tradition where children and family are valued so greatly. In addition to the man's individual torture, 20 members of his family were killed by numerous different militias. When we speak of death in the United States, it is often people dying of disease, influenza, old age, etc. For this man, some of his family members had holes drilled through their heads and other horrific markings indicating showing the intense torture and pain before death. As for this man's wife, she had been thrown up against a wall and beaten to the point that she is now loosing her vision in one eye, the majority of which is irreversible. Even more devastating the story itself was the fact that the husband had videos on his phone of his dead family members during their autopsies. Not able to comprehend how he could relive these tragedies on a daily basis, he told us that he had these videos in his phone to prove to authorities the extreme trauma his family has undergone in hope that this documentation might possibly help his wife and him more forward in the process of resettlement. It is absolutely unthinkable to me that someone should be required to show and relive such memories, only to improve but not guarantee his chances to receive assistance or resettlement.

Now that you have read about this family's brutal history, one similar to so many Iraqi families living in Jordan today, I will share the next steps involved in the process of a home visit. After hearing each family's story, something that we attempt not to have to have retold unless absolutely necessary, we begin going down the list on the forms. Beginning with medical issues, both the husband and the wife listed off every medication he and she was taking, what it was for, how much it costs per month, and what portion of that cost was being covered by UNHCR. Although not mentioned earlier, UNHCRpartakes in something called "cash assistance" in which a lump sum of money is given to a family via ATM or bank card most commonly to the father in the family. The lump sum is based only upon the number of members in the household and not on those family members' individual needs. There is a limit on the amount of money to be given to each family, approximately equal to around $320 dollars per month. Because these families are not legally eligible to work legally in Jordan, this money is often not enough to provide for even a family's basic needs. I should also explain that although the rules and regulations are not quite as strict as they once were, if an Iraqi is caught working illegally, instead being deported back to Iraq like in the past, he is jailed and then required to find a guarantor. Using a lawyer, a guarantor or sponsor is sometimes but not always found. After this sponsor has been identified and agreed to the process, that Iraqi is then dependent upon him in order to stay out of prison from there forward. If the Iraqi does not have the money to pay the sponsor, which is usually the case because he cannot work, the sponsor then refuses to be involved and the Iraqi is sent back to jail. It is a somewhat vicious cycle in which numerous Iraqis can easily be trapped.

To get back to this specific home visit, the list went on and on. After recalling all past medical problems, all previous treatment, all present medical issues, and all related costs, it is on to the next section. As sad as it may be, this is the foundational information that must be recorded before any further treatment, financial aid, or other forms of support can even be considered. After medical questions comes living questions. How long have you lived in this house? How many other family member are living here? It is often common that an entire family will live in one house (father, mother, children, grandparents, etc.). When did you come to Jordan? What was life like in Iraq? What was life like when you first came to Jordan? Did you go anywhere else? Why did you leave Iraq? Next comes questions about the children and school. How old are your children? Are they going to school here in Jordan? Public or Private? How was the transition for them? Do they have emotional or psychological issues do to past traumas? Have they missed school because of the transition?Are they able to get along with other children here? Do they feel safe? While all of these questions may sound exceptionally ordinary, the answers to all of them influence how these families live, what these families basic needs are right at that specific moment, and what must be prioritized by CRP in terms of helping these families in the best way possible. I need to mention that due to the very limited budget on which CRP is working, Sash's main goal is to facilitate and work within different systems to help Iraqis meet their most critical needs. Furthermore, her work is a combination of both social and humanitarian jointly aimed at creating some sense of stability in the lives of Iraqis, something that is far to uncommon for the majority of these families.

After learning of this family and their story, word of mouth lead us to another house near by consisting of husband, a wife, two young boys, and the children's grandmother all living in one small house. Two things that stayed with me about this family, although the same problems were present in the last family as well as many others, are diabetes and hypertension. These two medical problems slowly became know among CRP staff as the Iraqi diseases. Most Iraqis attribute the onset of both diabetes and hypertension to the stress and trauma that they experienced during the war, most specifically when one family member discovered that another relative had been killed. More in alignment with western sciences, diabetes is often caused by a poor diet, and families living in such poverty as the Iraqis find themselves eating only what is cheap, not necessarily the most healthy. Some of the children in these families, however, suffer from hypertension as well which leads me to believe that a portion of these two diseases is equally caused by trauma and stress. Although not as life threatening as a disease like cancer, the combination of diabetes, hypertension, and little to insufficient medical care can create a stressful, unhealthy, and dangerous physical state for a countless number of Iraqi men and women. Then last to issues that stayed with me with regards to the second family were the psychological health of his children and the physical health of the father. The father needed three surgeries. He had severe varicose veins causing him an almost unbearable amount of pain, calcified knee caps making it nearly impossible for him to walk, as well as an ear problem which although I did not fully understand the medical terminology seemed to be very uncomfortable. Of this father's two sons, one of them had just got to the point, nearly 5 years later, where he could rest at night without sleep walking around the house screaming in fear of the events he had experienced in Iraq. Bringing me to tears, the father said, "I would read him verses from the Qur'an and this would wake and calm him from his terrors".

After hearing these two stories, just the start of many I am sure, there is still the unfortunate fact that we are often not able to do a single thing. While it is the work of Sasha and CRP to help in any way possible, there are still impossible medical expenses, unchangeable living circumstances, and irreversible psychological damage for which there is often no assistance.

When I arrived back at CRP after after these two home visits, it was my initial inclination to curl up in my bed and cry. While there is a time and place for this particular emotional expression, I am more aware than ever that I have a responsibility to each and every one of these families. It is not a responsibility that promises money or medicine or a new home, but an internal promise that I will transform and project my own individual sadness into a voice for many.

Posted by Meera at 8:09 AM 0 comments

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Smiles are Universal and Palestine is Everywhere!

Slightly exhausted and overwhelmed by the 98-degree weather outside, my first full day in Hashmi Shamali consisted of Sasha and I walking around to local stores and markets picking up materials and food we would be needing for CRP events later in the week. While this may not have been the most exciting or enthusiastic day of our lives due to my sleep deprivation and Sasha's ongoing cold, there were two distinct things that I noticed during our entire walk around town.

Smiles are universal! From the instant we left CRP and began walking, children everywhere would smile and say hello both in English and Arabic. It did not seem to matter whether they thought I was American, Jordanian, or of any other nationality for that matter, kids are kids and smiles are smiles. I also want to say that even if these children had no idea who I was or why I was there, their faces projected the most sincere smiles I have ever seen, as if I was their best friend and they had known me forever.

In combination with my own personal experience and knowledge, it is also important to me that I attempt to translate some portion of my academic learning to better understand and analyze the situations I encounter abroad. Last semester when participating in an education for international development class at American University, we spent a great deal of time discussing what is best known as "the youth bulge". This theory, coined by Gunnar Heinsohn in 1990 argues that countries where there is a large and concentrated population of young adults generally leads to higher levels of unemployment, and an increased overall propensity towards civil conflict as a result of competing interests and limited resources. After gaining a basic understanding of this theory, our class began debating whether or not this so called "youth bulge" is actually a problem. We learned that while some international development programs see a rapid growth of working-aged youth as a problem and disruption to society for the reasons mention above, others see these youth as the key to a brighter future, and I not agree more.

Children and youth in general know no differences except those that are learned. While I don't want to say that "you can't teach an old dog new tricks", there is an exceptional resilience and universality that comes with being young and possessing a natural ability or tendency to seek common ground rather than trying to find and judge based our inherent differences. To connect this back to my first day in Amman, seeing all of these children smiling and communicating with me regardless of my age, ethnicity, or political beliefs, reassures me of the promise and hope that lies within a young population. Most importantly this promise ad hope has the ability to, if nurtured not criticized, transform a nation's future from the bottom up.

With regards to my second major observation upon arrival in Amman, this one is a bit more obvious but sends just as important of a message as the first. Palestine is everywhere! Although I am constantly involved in great number of Israeli-Palestinian conflict resolution projects operating out of the U.S. and Palestine, it is quite amazing to witness the difference in the portrayal and presence of the Palestinian people and their culture through the eyes of Amman. As I walked around the area with Sasha today, it was honestly refreshing. It was refreshing to see Palestinian shops on every corner, signs advertising Palestinian embroidery without hesitation, and Palestinian people blending into Jordanian society free from the occupation that has taken over their homeland. While I fully understand that leaving Palestine to Jordan is far from a solution to the conflict (most Palestinians should be so lucky as to leave their homes without the threat of violence), it is truly encouraging to see, first hand that Palestinians are treated as dignified and respectable human beings in other parts of the world. This observation as a whole was yet another reminder that we live in a very diverse and complicated world. Due to the nature of U.S. Israeli relations, Palestinians are often shown in U.S. media to be no more than a violent and relentless group of terrorists. Despite this horrible distortion, there is a strong sense of hope filling my heart as I am staying in a country where Palestinians are able to walk and talk without this violent image overtaking their identities.

Posted by Meera at 11:40 AM 0 comments

Collateral Repair Project

Before I go on about my own travels, I should first tell you a bit more about the organization I came to work with here in Amman as well as my own motivations for interning with an organization that focuses on such a controversial issue. Collateral Repair Project (CRP) is "a grassroots movement, created to address the catastrophic displacement of five million Iraqis who have had to leave behind their homes and communities because of the violence and instability that is a result of the invasion ad occupation of their country"(http://www.collateralrepairproject.org/) . CRP is co-directed by Sasha Crow who is currently running the center in Amman and Mary Madsen who is based out of the United States and uses her presence there to do everything from coordinating local events, to managing the organization's books, to maintaining CRP'swebsite. The Jordan office is located in an relatively impoverished town called Hashmi Shamali in the Eastern part of Amman. The center itself is the bottom floor of a two story building that Sasha rents from the owners who live above. The center consists of a bedroom, a living room, a kitchen, two bathrooms, a distribution room, and an activity room. During my time at CRP, I am using the activity for my bedroom and then moving my stuff into a closet in order to transform the room back into its normal state. I am moreprivileged than most to be staying in such a beautiful place with the rare comfort of fans at my disposal, but am also immensely grateful to be sharing this building and community with so many Iraqis who value CRP and Sasha's presence as a safe haven from all of their struggles, past and present.

Political beliefs aside, my main desire to with Sasha and with CRPwas to understand the entire story from start to finish. While I think it is safe to assume that most reading this blog are familiar with the first half of the story, the concept of U.S. soldiers being deployed to Iraq (even if one does not fully understand why), it was my intention to get to to know and learn from those effected by the second half of the story. One in every five Iraqis is displaced (both internally and externally), of which nearly 500,000 have fled to Jordan and others to the neighboring countries of Syria, Egypt, and Lebanon.

Although I could easily write a list containing the numerous projectsCRP has taken on to serve the Iraqi community, I find that my daily experiences and sharing of Iraqi stories are better suited to convey the personal and emotional message that has slowly but completely taken over my heart. That said, I hope that this blog will serve not only as a literary expression of my own experiences and emotional growth abroad, but as a voice for those who need it most. Iraqis, Palestinians, or Jordanians. Everyone has a story that has not yet been heard, and it is the sharing and understanding of these unique narratives that lay a foundation for mutual understanding.

Posted by Meera at 9:16 AM 0 comments

Monday, May 10, 2010

First Impressions

One lesson I am continually learning in my life is to have no expectations. This applies to travel, to relationships, to work, to school, and everything else. When I say no expectations, I am referring to the concept that one should not come into a situation with preconceived notions about the people, the country, the culture, or the religions involved as this only leads to a greater number of opportunities for judgement.

Most likely the first thing I appreciated about Amman and Jordan in general was Sulliman, the little Jordanian man who drove me from the Airport to where I was staying. Grateful for him driving the 45 minutes to pick me up and waiting for my late arrival, I was even more grateful for his 80 mile an hour driving skills. With 95-degree weather and blazing sun, I have never been more happy to have a 80 mile per hour breeze on my face. About ten minutes away from the airport, Sulliman asked me if I would prefer the A/C using as much English as he knew and pointing at the dashboard where the air would come out. I said "la, la shukran" meaning "no, no thank you". He seemed to greatly appreciate the fact that I didn't require air conditioning to be happy, and me being happy made him even more happy, so happy was all around. Simple as they may have been, my three conversations with Mr. Sulliman, starting at the airport and ending at the house where I was staying might just have been three of my favorite conversation to date. In our last conversation, I told him in Arabic that I didn't speak much Arabic, he told me in English that he didn't speak much English, and then we both smiled and began to laugh.

Almost an hour later, we arrived at our destination. A slightly off-white building, mostly from the dust I suspect, sat on the corner of what I would later learn was a "horseshoe" shaped, dirt road. As I got out of the car and went to help unload my bags and boxes from the trunk, my feet began to turn the same color as the building from all the dust on the ground. It was at that exact moment when I was staring down at my dusty brown toes that a woman popped out from the front door of the building where we had arrived. Her name is Sasha Crow. While I had hoped, not expected, that she would be as amazing as I had been told by everyone who knew her, my dream had come true. Although I did not know it just yet, I would be working with one of the most extraordinary women and empowering organizations I have ever come across.

Posted by Meera at 7:39 AM 0 comments

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Flight and Arrival

From the second I left my apartment in DC last Friday, I hadn't a single doubt that adventure was soon to follow. After spending several extra hours with a few too many people all anxious to make their respective connections out of New York, the plane finally took off. The time I spent awaiting my departure to JFK was roughly equivalent to double the time I actually spent in flight...maybe I should have just walked!

John F. Kennedy International Airport is an experience all by itself. As I was walking around looking for the departure/arrival screens to direct me to my next flight, I was amazed by how many languages were being spoken around me. While it was no surprise that a myriad of cultures should be meeting at an airport that serves most all countries around the globe, it was interesting however to witness the recent expansion of the service industry to encompass these multi-linguistic and cultural demands. When I spotted what I believed to be the gate and waiting area for my flight to Amman, I decided to check in with someone at the front desk just to make sure. As confident as I normally am in my own ability to read flight information off a simple digitalized screen, I wanted to be 100% sure I wasn't going to end up in Djibouti or Turkmenistan, not that I wouldn't have just as many adventures over there. To return to the topic, I first noticed this expansion in customer service when it was my turn in line at the front desk, and the young man about to assist me seemed slightly confused by my presence. He looked at me for about five seconds and then said "Salaam Aleikum" or "peace be upon you" with a bit of hesitance in his voice. Despite my improving Arabic skills, I was sleep-deprived enough to recognize that I was not going to comprehend flight numbers and letters in a foreign language at that point in time. Then responding with the same amount of hesitance in my own voice I said, "hello?". After hearing my response, he seemed a bit unhappy that he had misjudged my first language. It is my guess that he decided I was Arabic speaking based on the modest clothing I was wearing, the color of my skin, as well as the fact (unknown to me in that specific moment) that I was standing in a line almost completely filled with other people of Arab descent. After telling me, in English, that I was indeed at the correct gate for my flight to Amman, I walked away from "the Arab line" which was on the left only to look to my right and see "the American line" comprised of mostly business men and women and military personnel.

What was most interesting to me about my short conversation with this man at the information desk was that he seemed unhappy with himself not only because he had incorrectly assumed my first language, but because he was so keenly aware that these linguistic and cultural faux pas are now just as crucial in determining a persons "overall customer service experience" as are any other major factors (in-flight service, meals, etc.), and this reality was most obviously present in his facial expression as I walked away to board my plane.

As for the actual flight from New York to Amman, it is a bit difficult to describe this 13-hour, 350 person phenomena. I would love to say that "it is what you make of it", but really it is quite a joint effort. Four main cabin bathrooms, five crying babies at any one point in time, military personnel, Jordanians, international business men and women, and tourists from everywhere imaginable. Although it can be assumed that the majority of the people on the flight were extremely exhausted and not to be found in their most patient state of being, there was still an overarching feeling of tension between most everyone aboard. In International Business-101 we are taught that "different cultures produce different people", a fact obvious enough not to be paying $50,000 per year to understand. Obvious and general knowledge aside, a Muslim man praying in his seat on my Friday evening flight holds an ideology greatly differing from that of a U.S. contractor typing up a business memo on his Blackberry. Travel and airplanes, however, have an unavoidable way of squishing everyone together regardless of these differences.

13 sleepless hours later, I walked out of the air-conditioned airplane and into 95-degree dry heat, my favorite type of weather to be perfectly honest. After walking from the plane to the corresponding terminal, it turned out that we couldn't get anywhere near our checked baggage until we had exchanged money, and then used that money to obtain a Visa for the duration of our stay. While standing in the dreadfully long Visa line, I had the pleasure of conversing with two middle-aged Americans who took me under their wing almost immediately. This wonderful couple then made it their mission and responsibility to wait in every line in which I had to wait, to help me when carrying two 50 lbs. boxes full of art and music supplies off a crowded luggage conveyor belt , and to confirm my traveling safety with regards to my departure from the airport to where I would be staying. As my newly adopted family and I were getting towards the front of the Visa line, many began wondering, some even panicking as to where we should go to get our luggage. I already had a plan. If we followed the few people who were so very panicked and determined to find their luggage, some because they thought it had been stolen or because the luggage fairy had sent it on to Djibouti or Turkmenistan, we were sure to find ours as well. We would just do as they did, minus all the worry and panic...and it worked! Once my airport parents and I had all of our luggage and boxes loaded onto a cart, it was off to customs where they would then be taken off the cart. The man at the security and customs counter asked to open my boxes, and of course I said yes. He then starting asking me a round about circle of questions including but not limited to the following. What is in these boxes? Who are these boxes for? If they are for children are they for your children? If their not for your children then what children are they for? Where is the address of these children? Why are you bringing these children these things? What is in that box? What is in this box? Why are you bringing musical instruments here to Jordan? What is a harmonica? Finally, but believe me it took quite a while for the man to realize he was still talking regardless of whether my answers made any sense, he said "Okay, thank you. Have a good day and welcome to Amman".

As the woman who runs the the center for which I would be working came down with bad cold the night before, a friend of hers Mr. Sulliman came to pick me up at the airport. I am not exactly sure how he knew it was me since he did not have a sign or my picture, but some how he just knew. As my airport parents and I were walking to the arrival lane just outside the airport, a man looked me straight in the eye and said "Meera?", and I said "yes?". Although his English was greatly limited, he found a way to convey to me the fact that he knew who I was as well as Sasha, the woman I would be working with here in Amman, and that was enough for me to be convinced. My new parents had me double check just to make sure their newly adopted child wasn't getting in the car with a complete stranger...except I kind off was!

While I am completely grateful for this protective instinct that human beings, especially parents posses, there is another side to this story. Travel and trust go hand in hand. Traveling requires building long-term trust in the form of relationships as well as some degree of instantaneous trust. Many people assume the ultimatum that says that if one trusts, he or she gives up safety and/or security. Furthermore, because he or she has already prioritized safety or security at the top of the list, that person is then hesitant to trust based upon this ultimatum. I have found that one cannot have safety without trust, and in return trust creates a much safer environment. If my new airport parents had watched me get into "Sulliman's" car back in the U.S., I highly doubt that their level of concern for my well being would have matched that equivalent situation here in Amman. This simple experience with my new family and Mr. Sulliman illustrates for me, how important it is to trust and to trust fairly. Trust one stranger as you would another, and impose judgement only upon yourself, for your own actions, as that is all you are able to control.

Posted by Meera at 11:50 PM

'MY DAUGHTER FEELS HAPPY HERE'

2010-05-14T00:10:00.000-07:00

CRP's third English Language Social night on May 11th was the best yet! Iraqi learners and native English speakers shared another evening of food, friendship and conversation. Attendance was well over 40 this week and we were happy to know we could handle that capacity in our new place!

One of the Iraqis attending said that the Social night reminds him of when he lived in Baghdad "before" (the invasion) and colleagues or those who shared an interest would get together once a week in much the same way. A mother of 4, seeing her youngest giggling with a new friend, exclaimed "My daughter feels happy here!" Although the intent of the social is for English learners to practice using English and to hear English spoken by native-speakers, it is also a chance for families to escape their problems for a few hours of laughter and in good company.

These photos were taken early in the evening before many arrived. I regret that I forgot to take photos of the men who take over the activities room once the food has been put away for Dominoes Night. I'll remember to take some photos next week.

Many of our current volunteers are US students studying Arabic at University of Jordan. Their semester is nearly over and they'll be returning to the US soon. They have been amazing in getting the social going and showing up to make it the success it is! There are no words adequate to thank them enough for all they have done!
Thank you Liz, Michelle, Emily, Allie, Adam (...and.. if I've left any names off, please remind me)!!!

Local Media Attention and an Update on CRP Activities

2010-05-03T18:23:00.000-07:00

COLLATERAL REPAIR PROJECT FEATURED IN LOCAL MEDIA

Last month Paris Aiken, a reporter from Medford (Oregon) Mail Tribune, visited CRP in Amman and interviewed co-director Sasha and our Iraqi colleague and translator Ghazwan. She also accompanied them on a home visit to a refugee’s home to hear their story and see first-hand the circumstances under which the vast majority of Iraqi refugees currently survive.

The story is available at http://www.mailtribune.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20100503/NEWS/5030317

One important correction to the article: UNHCR assistance (which many must rely on as their sole means of support) is not "100JD per month" -- the grant amount varies depending on number of members in the household. A single person receives 75JD (around $100) - a family of six receives 245JD (a little over $300). Even with cost of living being lower in Amman than in the west, Cash Assistance is inadequate to pay for more than the rough basics: rent in what are many times substandard flats; utilities if people are extremely careful in use, and low cost foods.

We are grateful to the Medford Mail Tribune for the article about CRP and for bringing awareness of the refugee crisis to the general public. We encourage you to share the story with others. Much more media attention needs to be paid to this tragic situation which has been so sadly ignored.

CRP CENTER IS OFF AND RUNNING

Meanwhile, CRP is working very hard instituting our new Amman Center. Here are some of things we’re up to:

We are establishing a lending library of Arabic language books. Even used paperbacks are too costly for most refugees to buy and, lacking citizenship, they do not have access to public libraries. Their only reprieve from the harshness of their lives as refugees is escape into tv - although they most often watch the news, fixated (naturally) on what is happening in Iraq in their concern for loved ones left behind. A library will give them a reprieve from the continual diet of disturbing news and hopelessness.

We have also instituted English Language social nights for those who want to learn or improve the basics of English. Without the option of ever returning to Iraq and currently living shadow lives with no future for themselves and their children in Jordan, many Iraqi refugees are anxious to resettle in UK, Australia or the US. Knowing the basics of English will give them a foot-up if they are resettled. We’ve been fortunate to have a cadre of young American volunteers who are studying Arabic at the University of Jordan and who lend their energy and language skills for the socials. Nineteen men and women attended our first English Language Social event. We hope to continue this on a weekly basis as well as plan other cultural and community gatherings as a means of building bridges of peace and mutual understanding.

One thing we know is that all kids love to draw and love art projects. Put a bowl of crayons and a few pieces of blank paper on the coffee table and, without hesitation or coaxing, they begin making pictures. Art is not just a means of creative expression but is also therapeutic. We want our center to be a place for kids to gather to express themselves through art projects as well as other activities - and hopefully, in the future, we want to include art opportunities for adults too.

Most of us know how valuable it is to have a photographic memory of our families and our children as they grow. Digital cameras are a luxury far beyond the budget of Iraqi refugees. Many have been here in Amman for several years now, their children are growing with no photographic record of them during these years they've spent in exile. One low cost project CRP plans to initiate in May is visiting families to take family portraits that will be printed and given to them. Feeding the soul can sometimes be as important as feeding the body.

One room of our center is dedicated to distribution of free, gently used clothing that has been donated to us. We already have many donations of clothing and are in need of racks and shelving to facilitate orderly browsing and selection.

CRP also facilitates Iraqis accessing vitally needed services from other NGOs - but mainly UNHCR. Because of the scope of UNHCR's caseload of refugees, refugees sometimes become "just numbers" and when UNHCR monthly cash assistance is cut suddenly (by error sometimes) or a family has waited months until they are completely destitute and in deep crisis, CRP can intervene. On their own, Iraqis have a very hard time getting their cases heard by UNHCR (because UNHCR is swamped with such requests). We can directly inform UNHCR about these individuals/families crises and request a reassessment if cash assistance has been stopped or request expediting eligibility assessments to speed up the process for new applicants. We are successful very often in facilitating refugees getting this absolutely vital assistance from UNHCR.

CRP has long dreamed of instituting a center where Iraqi refugees can gather to socialize, make friends, learn together and celebrate shared cultural events. Our dreams depend on our donors and you have made it possible for the dream to come to this point. We thank you!! Now, we need your continued support to perpetuate and expand the reality that has evolved. We understand that times are difficult for many of us, so if you’re not able to donate at this time, we understand. But you can help us in another way: Please spread the word of our work to your family, friends and groups and encourage them to be involved in our work.

Thank You!

A Mother’s Tale: A Journey from Hope to Destitution

2010-04-26T21:27:00.000-07:00

This is Toti, an amazing woman. When her husband was captured and held as a POW in Iran for 7 yrs, Toti took their 5 children, bought a small plot of ground in a tiny village in N Iraq, and built a house by hand! She then supported her family alone by doing house-cleaning - working so hard that she was able to care for her kids & put away some savings. When her son, Soreen, was diagnosed with leukemia and needed a bone marrow transplant, it took all of those savings – plus the savings of all of their relatives in Iraq and a grant from King Abdullah of Jordan to pay for it. Now they are destitute.

Soreen, 31, is currently in Amman with his mother, recovering from pneumonia - they had to leave behind her husband and four other children that still live at home because Soreen's doctors in Iraq told him that they do not have the capability in Iraq's nearly incapacitated medical care system to adequately take care of him. He is a high risk patient.

They had been relying on Soreen's father sending money here to support them from his $250 bi-monthly military pension (he is disabled after his 7 years as a POW in Iran) and extended family -- but now they are all tapped out. When Soreen came down with pneumonia there was no choice but to hospitalize him. We got a message from another Iraqi (thank you "K"!) telling us of this family's crisis and have been working on finding a solution non-stop since last night.
Hospitals here often hold patients "hostage" - not allowing them to check out -until they can pay their full bill. And every extra day incurs further expenses!
We contacted the billing dept at the hospital to ask if they would make an exception and allow Soreen to go home and give us time to find a way to pay the bill. They would not.
We contacted UNHCR and they contacted CARE. This amazing group of people in both offices were able to, on short notice, rush to make a determination that CARE could give nearly $700.
CRP, because of our frayed shoestring budget and because it is the end of the month when funds are low anyway, was only able to put in $75.
An amazing group of Soreen's neighbors and friends - all impoverished Iraqi refugees themselves, pooled their money for their rents and other bills and sent the funds off to the hospital to pay Soreen's bill and get him released. How utterly amazing that those with so little gave more than they could, in fact putting themselves at risk to help him!

Soreen is home tonight! We are all grateful and tired but it isn't over yet.

CRP *must* find a way to reimburse the Iraqi families who pitched in to help this young man. We cannot allow their generosity to put them in crisis. So, I am pretty much begging for help to repay them so they can pay their rents and feed their families.
We need to raise close to $600 within the next couple of days. If you can help with even a small amount, please help.
You can make a tax deductible contribution via credit or debit
card through our secure donation page:

www.collateralrepairproject.org/Donate.html
If you prefer helping by check, you can find our mailing address on the same link -- but please message me to let me know your pledge so we can expect your check.
If you are in Amman and want to help out, please contact me,
THANK YOU in advance!

Fairy Child of Amman

2010-04-23T02:06:00.000-07:00

When Collateral Repair Project visits Iraqi refugee families, we always take gifts for the children. This is Fatima, one of Um and Abu Noor's four daughters. Um Noor was the recent recipient of a Micro-Project: an automatic washing machine to replace her old and falling apart semi-manual one. Um Noor takes in laundry to help support her family. As soon as Fatima put on her fairy wings with lights inside, she began to dance and sing!